What should I do?

Shimmer

I just got a call from a very sweet sister from the kingdom hall, telling me that I am her householder for her talk tomorrow night. I have not been to a meeting since November. I have managed to avoid elder's calls. I'm trying to fade away quitely. Only because I am opposition to the repurcussions of da'ing myself.

So what would you do? I would feel badly not returning her call. But if I did call her back I don't know what I would say. And do you think this stuff is going to continue unless I da myself? Am I going to be left no choice?

Please help me, especially if you've had a similar experience. Or even if you haven't.

Thanx
Shimmer

Maybe being oneself is alway an acquired taste.-----PATRICIA HAMPL

chezza

Hi shimmer, this may sound silly but does she have an answering machine and if she does call when you know she wont be home and just discreetly say i wont be able to make the meeting tomorrow could you please find another householder, and i must say i am a little surprised that you havnt been to a meeting since november and she actually called you.

On another note your comment about the repurcussions of da, my sister drifted away quietly and was not active for over 18 months, in which time not one elder went to see her, but as soon as someone in the congregation decided to gossip that she was living with a guy they actually disfellowshipped her, so your never going to be free from their watchful eyes.

pandora

Wow! That's one way to force your hand. I don't know why I am surprised.
I understand the delima though. The easiest thing to do is not call her back. I only say that because to call her back will mean you will have to give her some excuse or tell her the truth. In essence, forcing your hand. I'm sure you don't want to lie to her.
Good Luck with your decision. I would like to hear what you decide. -P(J)

expatbrit

Hello Shimmer:

I think it likely that this is a "wolf in sheep's clothing" attempt to force you to rekindle contact with the local congregation, and thus bring you to the elder body.

Obviously the elders are aware of your non-attendance, and yet you were scheduled as a householder. It is likely that the sister has asked one or more of them about you and what to do about her talk. They are using her as a tool to drill through your defenses imo.

In your position, I would not call her back. Remember that everything you say will be used against you. The only course for those of us trying to fade is to say nothing. Keep them operating in a vacuum.

That's just my view, of course, presented knowing next to nothing of the details of your situation.

Expatbrit

new boy

YOU CAN RUN BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE. I DA MYSELF IN SEPT. AFTER 52 YEARS OF WANTING TO KEEP EVERONE HAPPY. IN THE END NO ONE HAS HAPPY ME INCLUDED. YOU HAVE TWO OPTIONS,1. MOVE AWAY AND START A NEW LIFE {PRETEND}.OR 2. STAY WERE YOU ARE AND START A NEW LIVE, TURN YOUR LETTER IN AND TAKE THE HIT. YOU WILL BE THE BIG NEWS FOR ABOUT 2 WEEKS UNTIL THE NEXT PERSON TAKES THE COURAGEOUS MOVE! AFTER AWILE EITHER OPTION WILL MAKE NO DIFFERENCE!---------BUT ONE WILL GIVE YOU SELF RESPECT!!! ------------------------------------P.S MY SORY IS ON FREEMINDS.COM UNDER EXBETHELITES

ashitaka

Just don't call her back, simple enough for you not to remember to call her back while being busy with work and stuff...

Hmmm

I agree with Expat. This sweet sister is probably being used by the elders to try to pull you back in.

If you'd feel bad not calling her back, then call and lie through your teeth. That might sound bad, but you're just like her--an actor merely playing a part.

Whatever you do, don't go back, and don't tell her the truth.

Hmmm

Sam Beli

Is there any chance that you could go and be her householder? Act like nothing is wrong?

When I faded I became erratic and actually faded over a period of several years. They got used to my being absent frequently and I thought it made fading less noticeable. Finally I became very irregular and then moved away. No one tried to follow me with any letter or phone call to my new community. By then they had pretty much forgotten me.

What ever you try I hope it works for you.

Sam Beli

I have seen all the works which have been done under the sun, and behold, all is vanity and striving after wind. What is crooked cannot be straightened and what is lacking cannot be counted. Solomon

Francois

Call her back, in response to this cheap trick, and tell her you've got a hair ache and don't expect it to be gone by then and besides you've got a bone in your foot and don't expect any miracles soon.

Francois

butalbee

I have no good advice for you.

I would run like hell...but that's just me.

They will never quit, will they? Always up your ass. Like a hemoroid.

What should I do?

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