by punkofnice 86 Replies latest jw friends
Punk, I am so sorry to read this has happened. Sometimes it is for the best, though, especially if the 2 of you have such opposing ideals.
This is a massive unwitness. So well done Mrs Punk!
I have to admit that the more my parents got entrenched in this group the more of an unwitness they became by their actions.
None of us kids are in the Borg. Neither are their grandchildren. The WTS Legacy ain't worth a hill o' beans.
So sorry to hear this Punk... just another example of how the religion helps break up families. Very sad. I really enjoy your posts on both boards. You continue to be a source of wisdom and inpiration to me. Hang in there and the best to you and your children.
Been off the board for a week or so, or I would of commented sooner. I'm so sorry to hear about this Punk. Sorry it had to come to your marriage breaking up, however myself and many others here also experienced having fanatic JW ex-spouses break up with us as well . As you say it has turned out to be a fine anti-Witness for your sons so hopefully they will use their minds and free will and avoid joining the cult. So some good will come out of this. And as you mentioned you'll finally have peace of mind as well. Hang in there my friend
It's great to know I'm not alone. You folks are awesome.
As for a big basket with a note......hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. This is the sort of think I'd do! the boys not be too happy though tee hee hee!
The boys are fed up but at least now they're getting a bit better about the whole situation.
Thanks again friends out there
Wow. Nearly 6 months since uber JW wifey left.
I go from content to uneasy. Happy to sad. Full of life to suicidal. Spiritual to devoid.
I really am riding a rollercoaster.
Sad to hear that, Punk. Life is sometimes a damned struggle. I hope that your boys are OK, or at least somewhat OK!
Take care, Punk.
Dissmissing - Thanks. The boys are on the up and up. Me, I'm coasting along in a void. I cope. I guess there is more peace since she's gone and I don't miss her as such. I just feel that I failed in some way.
Perhaps the WBT$ has won it's battle against me.
So sorry to hear this. As a teen I can completely sympathize with your boys, my mom walked out on us when I was a teenager. At the time it was because SHE was running away from the JW's and my dad who was abusive. Although at the time I hated her because she took most of her anger out on me, I couldn't help but feel abandoned. If my dad was as bad as she said, why would she just leave us with him? It was a very confusing, hurtful time.
But even though I felt that way I was relieved to have her gone. No more waking up to shouting matches, no more tension, no more verbal abuse. My home finally felt peaceful and after several months when she wanted to come back my dad asked for my advice. Now why he asked me is a completely different trauma but I do remember whole-heartedly saying NO. I couldn't imagine going back to the way things were. And thankfully they divorced shortly after.
Your boys are hurting right now and they have every right to hurt. Even a bad mother is better than no mother and although it sounds like they are done with the JW's the guilt feelings are still there. The feelings that you are a horrible person for leaving, even as a kid those messages creep into your mind after years of meetings that try to scare you into staying a JW. That their mother has mental health issues is of course a completely different issue and would be hurtful on its own. To combine the two has to be painful and again I am so sorry for all of you.
I would definitely look into counseling, they need to be able to work through it and as a teen who went through my own pain at that age, I can say that self-medicating with alchohol and sex is very easy to fall into, I am just thankful that drugs weren't an issue although I am sure I could have easily went there. Your being there for them is the most important thing, even though they are teenagers it is very easy to fall into child-like feelings during difficult times and knowing they have one steady, healthy, strong parent will no doubt bring them much comfort. Hug them often and take care of yourself as well.
Good to hear the boys are doing well Punk. Don't blame yourself, you didn't fail.
The WTB&TS may have won a battle but they haven't won the war. Life will get better and you will have the last laugh.
Punk: well I see I am a day late and a doller short in posting, still trying to figure out my way around here. lol
Although my response is past the point of when all of this was going on, I hope that maybe something I wrote is helpful. As for your "roller-coaster" just remember that the loss of a marriage isn't too different from a death of a spouse. You will go through the steps of grief and it is normal to go from one extreme to the other. Use the outlets available to you, friends, this forum, family, when you need help ask for it. It will get better, maybe not as quickly as you would like but hang in there. Sending hugs your way. :)
