Don't become emotionaly attached to JW.com

sleepy

It seems that many of our friends here have become too emotionaly involved with this discussion board.
It has eaten into their personal lives,and caused upset and anger.
It is a shame as a times there can be great encouragement and words of wisdom here.Other times nonsense and triva.
It can be addictive, and I sometimes find myself wandering here too often.
But I think its good to keep yourself detached from the people here unless you know them more personnaly.
Internet conversations are different from face to face chats, and people say things they wouldn't normally say in front of someone, or say things due to lack of understanding , of other peoples needs.
We would't want to put people off from coming here by petty bickering and such.
I believe that restraint is sometimes called for and a little patience on our part when we feel hurt by peoples cutting remarks, imagined or other wise.

Perry

Good points Sleepy. I feel the same way. I think that its easy to start imagining getting slighted or to take comments personal that are really just opinion disagreements.

Although this board is very therapeutic, we probably shouldn't forget our friends in the rreal world around us.

Good observation.

UADNA-TX
Unseen Apostate Directorate of North America

Amazing

Excellent points! It is easy to get too involved, and to build attachments or disconnection, love or hatreds based on what we perceive about people here, whether it is true, false, or somewhere in between. It is very easy to construct a whole fantasy world from our perceptions here, a world that can be shattered by hard reality ... and the fantasies may not be true or fair to the personnas we identify with as good or bad.

Simon

yes, the other danger is that while most posters are 'genuine' there will always be the odd ones who have their own agenda for whatever reason.

I'm not saying you should be paranoid but some caution is never a bad thing. Of course this applies to people in general, not just on the Internet or this particular bit of it.

Of course I get emotionally involved but I can't help it

Introspection

I still don't know what you guys are talking about, that is the specific threads I guess. Evidently I am just not opening any of the extremely inflammatory threads, or don't read all of it..

flower

I understand where you guys are coming from. I think caution is definately a good idea whenever you are online whether you are reading, researching, chatting or whatever.

However, I think its unfair to say dont get emotionally attached or involved with the people here. If you are just coming out of the Watchtower or were recently df'd and still believe it or whatever the situation the chances are more than likely you are depressed, mentally confused, emotionally distraut or as we have seen even suicidal.

You meet people here that understand you, support you, inform you, help you personally in every way to be able to handle all these emotions and fears ect. Its impossible not to become emotionally attached. Its impossible to not care for people here and its impossible to not want to spend time with those people.

If this were a real life support group would anyone complain if we developed real emotional attachments to the people in the group? How can you support and help someone if you dont get to know them? Sure you can offer generic info and advice but we all need personal attention to get through these experiences. I dont think anyone would disagree that when someone says 'Help I'm so lonely now without my family and friends' it helps that person a lot more when someone says 'call me or email me, i'll be a friend to you' than it does when someone says 'get a hobby, join a club yada yada yada'.

The same generic advice almost falls on deaf ears when someone is depressed. But getting involved with people here..getting together in real life, chatting online, joking around, posting fluff, having apostafests..helps a lot more..imho.

We all have our daily lives to attend to each day and I agree this board shouldnt become so much of an addiction that things arent getting done that need to be, but also dont underestimate the amazing healing that comes from being understood. This is the only place a lot of us can ever be ourselves and be 'understood'.

I for one have finally started to share my past with a person or two in the real world and its been scary because its been hidden for so long. But I think I'm getting there and eventually will not need to be here as much. But I have made what I hope and intend to be life long friendships and I can be as emotionally attached as I want..thank you very much. (said with a smile) Yea that means I'm gonna get hurt or angry at times but I'm gonna smile, laugh and get happy too.

I think to ask people to treat this like any old online discussion board is too much to ask.

flower

ISP

You have to take a lot with a pinch of salt. You never really know the score unless you meet folks. But I think the site is great...just don't unrealistic expectations of the people.

ISP

SEAKEN2001

Hi flower,

I think everyone will agree with you. Perhaps the title of this thread is directed toward those who have invested some negative emotions in this site. Some people seem to think that their worth is determined by how well they argue a point.

For support purposes this can be a great place to form some friendships and attachments, with appropriate care.

I have made some comments every now and then about how I see some of the mind-control issues and how I have solved them in my own case. These comments could easily be taken as a kind of "just change, blah, blah" type of solution. But I know only too well that breaking free from the WT mind set is extremely hard and everyone will be handling the process differently and in the way that is best for them. Being able to exchange ideas with people who really know what you are going through is very supportive and a wonderful benefit of an online discussion board. As always, the best results are obtained when the use of these tools are handled with balance.

Good comments flower.

Sean

Solace

I think I may be a bit attatched. I would be bugged big time if this site was discontinued. I dont think Im "emotionally attatched" to the forum or anyone on it though. I know that there are a few posters on the board whos opinions I strongly disagree with and I probably wouldnt want to bump into them on the street. I also know there are many others who I enjoy sharing the same threads with and are people that I would probably get allong with very well offline.
Yes, we should be very careful, especially if we were planning on setting up a meeting with someone have never met,
but, we are still all human beings and although Im sure many of us would love to be able to ignore our feelings, we cant help but get emotional at times. Especially when it comes to a subject as sensitive as this.
You are right about forming emotional attatchments or relationships. If it goes beyond casual flirting or if someone starts obsessing about another poster they have never met, I would say, there could be a problem.

Beck_Melbourne

Maybe I'm wrong...but I think people who invest more time here are more inclined to get emotionally attached. I have found that I am logging on at home now...not just at work. I have even stayed back late at work (which my boss thinks is due to my dedication to a project) when really I am wanting to get in one more post lol.

I agree with Heaven...if emotional attachments online creep into our personal relationships...big problemo!! Not just 'good' emotional attachments...but the bad ones too..the ones where a poster really gets under your skin and you want to poke them in the eyes with red hot pokers...sorry...that was a bit too graphic...and I NEVER thought about doing that to another poster on here...honest

Beck

Don't become emotionaly attached to JW.com

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