Grieving=Guilt in JW World

nuthouse escapee

I lost both of my parents many years ago while in the organization. I can remember the scripture being used that says we do not grieve on as the rest do. (been so long I can't remember where it is)

I was 17 when my mom died (40 when my Dad passed) and there we sat, dry-eyed, so as not to give a bad witness to worldly family. Somehow, to show signs of grieving displayed that our hope in the resurrection wasn't strong and was perhaps a sign of weak faith therefore reflecting poorly on the JW beliefs. We were expected to be different. More like weird!

Anyone else experience anything similar while a dub? I see now how totally screwed up that is. Leslie

wha happened?

I saw tears at all the memorials I attended. But I do know that when someone passes away in the org, the guilt scriptures about doing everyhting while u still can, not have regrets blah blah huuuuurllll.

nuthouse escapee

So true Wha Happened?

rip van winkle

LESLIE-SORRY ABOUT THE CAPS- THE SCRIPT IS 1THESS 1:13 MOREOVER BROTHERS WE DO NOT WANT YOU TO BE IGNORANT CONCERNING THOSE WHO ARE SLEEPING IN DEATH THAT YOU MAY NOT SORROW JUST AS THE REST ALSO DO WHO HAVE NO HOPE. I'VE BEEN TO A FEW AND HAVE NEVER SEEN A TEAR. BUT PRIVATELY SOME PEOPLE ALLOWED THEMSELVES TO GRIEVE.

DATA-DOG

I have friend who lost his brother. He was going through a rough time of course. He is what I would call a down-trodden brother. He has great qualities but of course never " spiritually " qualifies for anything. Well he was depressed and an Elder asked him why he wasn't over it yet. Nice huh?

wha happened?

Well he was depressed and an Elder asked him why he wasn't over it yet.

I hate that self rightious crap. Sounds like the elder just wanted to point out how much more spiritual he is than the grieving publisher

Theocratic Sedition

I can see that verse getting misconstrued at times, mainly by the fanatic types. The verse says that we dont grieve like the rest of mankind, but it doesnt say we dont grieve at all. The rest of that verse and the verses that follow put it in perspective. We grieve, but we're not ignorant of the state of those we've lost in death. We're the opposite of the non-believers who have no hope. Rather we look foward to Jesus coming back and raising the dead.

Me personally, I always dug that versse and the WT view on death itself. I believe they encourage a positive view on death. Which is weird because they have a perverted view towards life. I've lost close friends and will probably lose some close family in the very near future as my folks and other relatives are up in age, and I find this verse encouraging.

As far as other JWs greiving, one of last memorials we had after an older brother died, the speaker got choked up a few times in front of the significant amount of worldly family in attendance. I dont recall ever being discouraged from grieving. However, I can definately see some misconstruing the verse in question. So many JWs are so concerned with giving a witness that they cant remember what natural emotional reactions are.