Flower... Amen to that. I'm glad you are on the road to healing. love and peace to you, Jbean
Wordly people, df'ing, my experience
by flower 28 Replies latest jw experiences
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flower
MissSC,
thats normal what your mom is feeling. have you been able to show her any of the proof that the watchtower is nothing more than a man-made cult and that God is in no way affiliated with it whatsoever?
i couldnt pray for a long time even when i was in. and when i did i spent the whole time begging for forgiveness for all these wicked evil things i had done (like eating a xmas cookie or saying 'god bless you' when someone sneezed lol).
i still at this moment believe in God but I dont believe that he is anything like the hateful JW God named Jehovah.
Is your mom at all open to talking with other xjw's here? I want her to be happy and have hope. She needs to know the truth about the cult she was in.
flower
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seven006
Flower,
I read your post and for some reason ever since you started posting on this board you have found a special little place in my heart. As many of us here feel bad for you it might be a little reassuring that out of any people on the planet we know only so well how you feel. You are right, you are not crazy. It is great to see you progressively getting stronger and more self assured. Your presence on this board has changed from a somewhat frightened person with questions and doubts to one that by sharing your experiences has helped others gain some inner strength themselves. As I told you in one of your first post's, I think you are going to eventually be just fine. I see you are still headed in that direction and it makes me feel great to see that.
Hang in there little sister, I think you are just about over the biggest hump.
Take care
Dave
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Dutchie
Thanks so much, Flower, for sharing your story. Life is constantly evolving, isn't it and I am glad you will be there to share all its wonders and joy!
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Joyzabel
((flower))
As hard as it was to write your "story", I'm sure it will help somone out there.
You really need to be thinking seriously about writing your story in a book, to help not only ones here on the discussion board, but others who are computer illiterate. You have good writing skills and you express yourself very nicely.
I, too, am sad over this Bryant family. It effects all loving people.
Keep on with your wonderful healing, it shows!
j2bf
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slipnslidemaster
(((((flower)))))
Slipnslidemaster: "Easter so longed for is gone in a day."
- James Howell -
Makena1
Flower - I just want to add my thanks too for sharing your very powerful story. You have been through so much - I applaud your valiant efforts to regain strength.
I was drawn to your statement: "I admit that I never came out and told my family that I was suicidal or homicidal so I cant say with 100% certainty how they would have reacted to those specific words. But I've no doubt that my family would have stayed in prideful denial until they were looking at my corpse."
Under the guise of "keeping the borg" clean, the elders and your family sadly would probably not have been of any help, and because they have the backing of the "spurrit" would not accept any responsibility for what they did to you , or if you had followed through on what you were contemplating.
As many of you know, our 21 year daughter committed suicide a few days after the elders met with her over some "wrongdoing". She was class valedictorian, pioneered 4 years, and was a model dub her entire life. Was she mentally ill? In my opinion, no more than any of us were under the mind control of the borg. The possibility of losing her "status and priviledges", bringing reproach on the family, and in her mind Jehovah cutting off his spirit were the main things that drove her to such a depth of despair. To this day, most of the people who knew and admired her, try to lay the blame on us, or bad association, and quite a few have said, she must have been mentally ill. What a crock! I guess that is the only way they can deal with their consciences?
It's been almost 4 years since her death - time does help in healing, but suicide of a family member is something that you never completely "get over" inspite of what a bunch of untrained clergy think.
Please be assured of our family's best wishes for continued healing and success in life!
Mak
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flower
((((((((((mak))))))))) i am so sorry to hear about your daughter. its absolutely maddening to hear people blame you or 'the world' or mental illness for something that the org is solely responsible for. just for once i would like to hear them take responsibility for what they have done to us.
i'm so sorry mak
flower
joy, i've thought about it in passing. i've got a few more experiences growing up that would rank up with this one i've shared but its all so jumbled in my head right now. i've got a technique i learned years ago to blur or block certain incidences from my psyche if thats possible. i remember whole experiences but i've refused to allow myself to focus on any details or let them into my conscious mind. if they start to come in i have always forced them out even telling myself aloud 'no, i refuse to think about that' and then busying myself with something else, and eventually the details fade. the pain doesnt though. oh well maybe one day, who knows
I'd rather write a real life based fiction though...i have to wait till i meet a guy and fall in love and have a wild passionate romance though ..otherwise no one will buy it lol.
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Yadira Angelini
Hey Flower, I guess we have met, ha?
Makena1 lost his daughter and who else but someone like him should be glad you are alive, flower. Thanks for sharing.
Makena1, I'm so sorry. I hope when my daughter leaves the Org. she could have the support flower has on this forum. Thanks to Simon, many people are still alive and well.
Peace, and harmony
Yadira -
