Watchtower Bible and Tract Society
Dear Brothers in the Truth,
You say you want your money back? You claim to need those excess funds that we are holding in trust for you?
So sorry. Since our money market and mutual funds accounts did not perform to our satisfaction, we are restricting the return of funds to local congregations. In fact, we will be charging Kingdom Halls additional monthly service charges for holding those funds we refuse to give back.
We suggest that you go back to the members of your congregation and ask them to dig a little deeper. Suggest that they stop taking their kids to movies and fast food joints - it's all bad for them. We can provide addresses for local "day old" bakery outlets and community food banks. In fact, taking your kids to eat at the local midnight mission once a week will help them understand the plight of the homeless while providing them an adequate meal.
Bottom line: We need your money more than you need your money. Pipe broken? Get some duct tape. Window cracked? Use some clear packing tape. In other words - be proactive and quit trying to get us to give your money back.
Above all do not fret over small inconveniences. We leave all things to Jehovah. He will provide. Just wait on Jehovah. [We hear that due to so many pending and unanswered requests, Jehovah is a little backed up, so your wait may be rather extended - like the rest of your lives.]
With sincere Brotherly Love,
Christian Congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses