Your first holiday season? Let's walk you through it real time

by rebel8 25 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  carla

  One thing some ex jw's do not understand when first starting- yes, you must wrap (or use gift bag & tissue) if giving presents. Using the plastic bag from the store is not the same! buy the wrapping paper and if you don't understand how to wrap a present find a youtube on how to do it. However, if you are known to be an ex jw all will be forgiven and there will be much joy and astonishment that you are joining in all the festivities. If you are a non jw guy who hands something over in a plastic bag from the store you will look like a lazy so & so.

  Also, timing- if you have agreed to some sort of gift exchange (at work or elsewhere) you gotta have the present there on time, not later. It looks like you forgot and the gift is only an obligatory after thought.

  now have a very Merry Christmas and don't stress about things it's all in good fun.
• 

  carla

  A thought on ornaments- I know my ornaments are like opening a time capsule every year (I'm a non jw never been one) My mom starting getting us kids an ornament every year and I continued the tradition with my kids. With my kids I tried to find ones that reflected the interests of the kids that year. Say litte Suzy was into ice skating then I would find a beautiful ice skate ornament, or little Joey was into a certain animal then I would find a charming animal ornament to match and so on... Often I would get myself one similar to the kids so I have a record of their interests as well. We also made at least one ornament every year and when the kids come they still look for their favorites. We had wonderful times around the kitchen table making things! Start your own traditions!
• 

  rebel8

  Some pix from a full-on she-devil
  
  Am I hallucinating or is Santa's elf on your doorstep?
  One thing some ex jw's do not understand when first starting- yes, you must wrap (or use gift bag & tissue) if giving presents. Using the plastic bag from the store is not the same!
  
  Hi Carla :)
  
  ROFL @ the bag thing. You are so right. I am just thinking how that by itself indicates cultdom. You have to be Amish or something to NOT know you need to wrap presents. SO odd, and true of dubs.
• 

  Freeof1914

  I was giving this new understanding from the annual meeting some thought and several things struck me as odd. First and foremost the GB has now essentially set themselves up to be even superior to the twelve apostles, handpicked by Jesus! According to this new understanding the FDS did not come about into existenced until 1918/19... I forget the exact year. Where does this leave the apostles of the 1st century? Were they not "dispensing food at the appropiate time, when they wrote the books that are found in the bible? Does the FDS see the supposed food they dispense as superior to the actual scriptures? It would appear so, according to their new understanding. Another thought that immediately came to mind when I heard the new understanding ( I was physically present at this meeting) is where is their biblical foundation for a governing body? Prior to this, their argument for having a centralized governing body was the passage of Acts 15 where the apostles and elders of Jerusalem were meeting and sending out decisions as REPRESENTATIVES OF THE FDS . The watchtower claimed that this proved that there was always a governing body in action to do Jehovah's will on earth, and that these men were the faithful and discreet slave. Now if they were not the faithful and discreet slave, who were they? Well according to the GB these apostles and elders were not the FDS they were simply DOMESTICS... so what biblical base do they now have to claim that they are the only ones who can interpret the bible correctly? If the DOMESTICS were able to interpret the scriptures in the 1st century, what would prevent a domestic from interpreting correctly today? Would love to hear some thoughts on this.
• 

  rebel8

  Time for FOOD! Try some holiday favorites. Egg nog is excellent, with or without a splash of spiced rum (Silk Nog is excellent too if you can't do the rich stuff!). Cookies. Ethnic favorites from your ancestral traditions (for me I do pannetone and roasted chestnuts).

  No need to feel uncomfortable with this. It's just flour, sugar and butter! Even if you're still afraid of being Pagan, there is a scripture about being able to eat the foods after the festival.

  PS--Freeof1914, you may have meant to post in a different thread?
• 

  ziddina

  "Am I hallucinating or is Santa's elf on your doorstep?..." Rebel8

  Hah! That's my husband in shorts!! He used to wear shorts ALL the time - even in winter...

  Then he'd try to warm up by wrapping himself around me... (speaking of wrapping... )

  Lately he can't seem to get warm - I wonder why??
• 

  rebel8

  Time for holiday parties.

  As a person who's lived in a totally different social environment with different norms, you will probably feel nervous about this.

  There is not a way to totally avoid the adjustment period, sorry. What you can do is be prepared and not sweat it.

  Before you go to such an event:

  • Try to figure out what everyone's wearing. @ this time of the year people tend to glitz it up a little more than a casual summer party. It is the celebration of light, after all--that's why there's glitter, sequins, lights, candles, etc. The right clothes will help you feel like you fit in, and it will feel more special if you have an opportunity to dress up a little.
  • Memorize a few things to talk about. Current events (not controversial or sad stuff), a movie you saw, something you baked, your plans, whatever. Have those things ready if there is an awkward silence or if the conversation starts focusing on your Christmas memories & you need to change topics fast. In order to have something ready to discuss, you may have to do something to later talk about. So get baking, watching movies, or whatever.
  • Don't sweat it. I made the mistake of feeling really angry/sad about what I had missed and I let that affect how I experienced the "now". Don't make that mistake.
  • Probably not a good idea to discuss what you missed out on at holiday parties. It's supposed to be fun. Talk about something light and joyful.
  • Eat or go get some punch if you need to get away from an uncomfortable topic.
  • Enjoy yourself. It's not evil.
• 

  carla

  A question about baking- this time of year is when special foods are made, cookies, bars, family favorites etc.... growing up a jw was there ever any time of year that there was a flurry of baking or food memories? The smells in my house are incredible and will probably show up on our hips later but what the heck, smells create memories right?

  I was just thinking it must be another thing jw kids don't experience and it made me sad to think of. Kids should experience flour, dough, rolling pins, cookie cutters, frosting and giggling in the kitchen.
• 

  Xanthippe

  Carla you are so right kids should enjoy getting covered in flour and chocolate in the kitchen at this time of year. I don't have any memories of festive cooking but I've taught my daughter to love making cakes and cookies. We also love the smell of parsnips and potatoes roasting in the oven at Christmas. Last year I had a go at red cabbage cooked in a covered dish in the oven with red wine, oange juice and cinnamon. It smelled and tasted wonderful.
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  rebel8

  Yes Carla, all the time. All we did was make food and eat. There was little else in life that had any joy. In fact I remember a study remarking we don't do anything fun except eat. lol