So utterly hurt.

by LouBelle 31 Replies latest jw friends

  • LouBelle
    LouBelle

    today something happened that hurt me more than the jwks, more than the shunning, more than my sexual molestation, more than my hellish years at caxton and more than the year i've just had.

    the moment i was told this, i felt like my insides had been ripped, torn, shredded and my heart squeezed of it's very life. i put my head in my hands and for the first time in my life let out a primal gut wrenching wail.

    my father had asked my gran why she has been treating me the way she has (which hasn't been very nice). he though it strange considering how in the past i have helped her and given her so much. she looked at him and uttered the following (this is a shortened version) "you don't know louise, when brian was sick with cancer, she invited her friends around. while he was watching t.v she changed the chanel and when he moaned proceeded to swear at him in the most vile language. she is digusting and i was there. that is why brian didn't put her in his will."

    for a year and a half i attended to my uncle. i cleaned tumours, bathed him, fed him, cleaned and emptied out cathetas, stoma bags, cooked for him, medicated him, sat many hours at the hospital without sleep. whatever he needed i did it. i loved him. sure we had disagreements, sure there were times i had to be firm with him. never ever have i spoken to him in such a manner. this story was passed onto my aunt (brian's sister) and my 2 cousins overseas. when i asked why she would tell such a horrid lie she told me i was the liar and i did all those nasty things to my uncle in front of her.

    i have lived my life honestly. the one person i did have a hellish fight with was my grandfather, i never hid from it, i never sugar coated what i said and i was honest with my entire family about it. they know i've done experimental drugs when i was younger. i have absolutely nothing to hide from anyone.

    i don't know why my grand mother would want to say something so false, so vindictive, so utterly malicious! i've asked that question so many times today. i don't understand why she wants to hurt me like this.

    it hurt so much. it still hurts, even though i know the truth.

    i'm sharing this for pure sharing sake. i have never in my life felt so betrayed, so hurt.

  • Chariklo
    Chariklo

    LouBelle, that is so awful. I can just imagine how you are feeling.

    Is your grandmother elderly? Some old people sit there and go over and over things in their mind, so that they kind of invent grievances that become obsessive ideas. Is there any chance at all that this could be happening?

  • elderelite
    elderelite

    Loubelle, im really sorry.... That clearly hurts in deeply personal way.... Is it possible you gma is suffering from dementia, maybe early onset?

  • cofty
    cofty

    LouBelle, that is horrible. I'm sorry she did that to you. You know the truth about what you did for your uncle.

  • dontplaceliterature
    dontplaceliterature

    Hope you feel better soon.

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    I'm so sorry, dear LouBelle.

    I wonder if it's as Char has said about Grannie's state of mind.

    Those who know you will side with you. Nevertheless, your extreme pain and disbelief are understandable. We've all been through this to some extent or another, and the truth eventually comes out. We've all had words with those we love, especially in conditions of caregiving. We get exhausted and feel burdened, but we do love the ones we care for.

    We're pulling for you.

    Love,

    CoCo

  • Scott77
    Scott77

    "...for a year and a half i attended to my uncle. i cleaned tumours, bathed him, fed him, cleaned and emptied out cathetas, stoma bags, cooked for him, medicated him, sat many hours at the hospital without sleep....i loved him.

    LouBelle

    Your caring spirit motivated by alabor of love and caring speak for itself. I get the sense that you did more than them. Certainly, you are justified to feel that way. Sorry for that. I hope the greater good you did on behave of your cancer-striken and dieing uncle will never be forgetten.I suspect, excluding you on the will might have been by the corrupting influence of those who had a questionable interest in getting some benefits, your labor of love and caring notwithstanding.

    Regards,

    Scott77

  • perfect1
  • nuthouse escapee
    nuthouse escapee

    (((Loubelle))) I'm so sorry to hear this. It is devastating to hear lies about ourselves. Perhaps your grandmother is suffering from dementia as another poster suggested. Either way it still hurts. You are in my thoughts. Leslie

  • tec
    tec

    Loubelle, i am also so very sorry for your pain, and for what your grandmother did. As some others have mentioned, elderly people (and even non-elderly people) DO remember things quite differently than how they happened, and I have not known them to be very accepting of the possibility that they are remembering wrong, or remembering something out of context, or just blowing something so far out of proportion that it totally takes you aback.

    I agree that all the things you did speak for themselves. I would not hold out that she will admit to perhaps being wrong, but i hope that someone makes her see this.

    I am just truly, truly sorry for the hurt she has caused you.

    Love and strength to you,

    tammy

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