i have started my da letter !

by unstopableravens 65 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • problemaddict
    problemaddict

    Hey Ravens. You a Ravens fan?

    I understand those who feel like they need to write a letter to get it out there. It is an expression of control on a basic level. But you should consider some things that while not guaranteed to be 100% true, are close enough.

    1) Several people have told you your letter won't be read. They are most likely right. Why write a letter for nobody to read.

    2) Writing the letter gives the illusion of control. Having them label you an apostate, and you not having legal recourse for it.....THAT is control. Don't give it to them.

    3) Your family and baby are involved. Do not give in to emotion and do this. It can separate you from them. Having them "wake up" may never happen, but they are still your family and you are responsible for keeping your integrity as a husband and father to them.

    If you don't care and are willing to lose anything, then go for it. otherwise, use it as therapy as someone suggested, and then just fade away. Everyone responds to different things. What you see as damning imperical evidence of conspiracy or power grabbing, another person sees as not a meaningless change at all. You have to deal with the reality of the person you are engaging, not just try to alternate theirs to match yours. Its a losing proposition, and plays right intot he hands of those that would just want to label you an apostate and be done with you.

    Don't give them the control. You have a dog in this fight, so don't just walk off the field.

  • leavingwt
    leavingwt

    Yes, I sent my letter to some regular folks. They viewed it as an attack on them and as an attack on Jehovah.

  • problemaddict
    problemaddict

    ^^^That is how it goes.

    I personally am a big fan of actually talking to people instead of letters. ore impact, and just a far better way to communicate your thoughts and feelings.

  • unstopableravens
    unstopableravens

    yeah im a die hard ravens fan ! lol i have alot to think about everybody has alot of good input! i am thankul for everybody caring

  • DesirousOfChange
    DesirousOfChange

    Finish writing your letter, then tuck it away in a safe place.

    Wait 30 days and take it out and read it again.

    Tuck it away again.

    You only get one chance to send a letter of DA and you never get to "take it back".

    You are just now in the first steps of this journey.

    Slow down. Catch your breath. Don't be in such a hurry.

    You got lots of good advice from other here. Isn't that why you started your post?

    Doc

  • unstopableravens
    unstopableravens

    yeah it is why i started the post for input and im glad for the input,however this journey has started years ago and im now at the breaking point .

  • leavingwt
    leavingwt

    I had reached that breaking point, too.

    The letter did *end* my life as a JW in one simple act. They've never tried to contact me even once.

    However, I didn't fully understand all of my choices. There are other ways to do it.

    I just want you to know that you have choices. One of those is to walk away and cease contact with the people you don't want to see again. If anyone questions you, you simply tell them that you're "not interested in talking about it" and you politely ask them to "leave your property" and ask that they "stop calling your house". They will lose interest.

    There is nothing wrong with writing a letter. I just wanted you to know some things that I really didn't know until after I submitted mine.

  • unstopableravens
    unstopableravens

    lwt first thing your almost at 15000 post wow you have had alot to say lol the thing about getting away we live with her family and they are jw and it hard to move out. theres so many details

  • leavingwt
    leavingwt

    "we live with her family and they are jw"

    Do you realize what this means? They will be 'forced' to kick you out of their house! Do you want to be homeless, or do you have somewhere else that you can live? Dude, this is serious business. The elders will breath down their throats, demanding that you be put on the street. Further, they will be sympathetic to encouraging your wife to leave you.

  • Mr. Falcon
    Mr. Falcon

    yeah, dude. LWT knows what he's talking about. I myself can't just walk away, as i have active JW family living with me. It would cause a bit more than just drama. I could lose my house if they threatened to do anything drastic (and they have). So weigh your options CAREFULLY and then proceed. Writing a DA letter will set events into motion that cannot be stopped.

    Also, as I'm sure it's been mentioned on here plenty of times by others, the Elders will not read your letter any more than to scan thru it and look for an official "I'm out" statement. Writing such a letter is probably only therapy for you. Don't get me wrong, writing an honest and open letter about how you really feel can be a positive thing for you. we just don't want you to get your hopes up that they would somehow appreciate or respect your views.

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