Did you feel guilty for not pioneering?

by brokethechain 26 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  ÁrbolesdeArabia

  I assumed we all were taught to feel guilty if we were living a productive life, providing for our families and pursuing a spiritual life to our best ability. We could always do more in the Org, they provided us with endless methods to beat ourselves silly with guilt.

  "If you can shop at the Malls, you can attend the Kingdom Halls." "You can remain at home sick or bundle up and sit in the back"

  "The Pioneers are the only ones who are able to become one with Jehovah, they learn to rely on him for food and clothing. Those not pioneering will never feel the Holy Spirit's power or compassion that pioneers experience."

  "Pioneers are the most spiritual men and women in the Kingdom Hall, they are alway's looking for ways to make Jehovah's name known."

  "Pioneers are at the cutting edge of the Theocratic Paradigm and are those keeping up with Jehovah's Chariot!"
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  wannaexit

  @brokethechain: you and I have had a very similar experience. I also pioneered the month after high school graduation and continued for the next 20. When I stopped I felt not only guilty but deficient. Even during those years Iwas pioneering I felt guilty for not doing a better job.
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  Xanthippe

  brokethechain wow 17 years. I did 10 years straight out of school. I think some of us have that personality that is easily guilted. I wish I didn't because people try and use it against me. I'm getting there - just another hundred years and I'll be fine!

  20yearfader welcome - try google chrome
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  00DAD

  There were times I felt guilty for not doing more, a lot of times in fact. That's how they want you to feel. It's a classic manipulation technique of abusers and controllers.

  But then, when I realized what a fraud the whole thing was, I only felt guilty for ever believing any of it!
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  cobaltcupcake

  I used to "temporary pioneer" (75 hours for the first month, 100 hours for each consecutive month thereafter) one month each summer while I was in school, but then I got married right out of high school. By then it was "auxiliary pioneering" (60 hours a month), and I kept doing that for the first year and a half of my marriage. I felt guilty for not regular pioneering, but I couldn't stomach 100 hours of FS every month, especially with the harsh winters we had in Maine.

  I had to get a full-time job after a while, and then I couldn't pioneer at all. Felt guilty, guilty, guilty, especially during those service meeting parts that gave the example of the blind sister with the unbelieving mate, 5 kids, and a wooden leg who regular pioneered. Or the parts that mentioned the fanatical zeal of the brothers in Japan where apparently there were whole congregations of pioneers.

  Guilt got me to try auxiliary pioneering while working full-time. It nearly killed me.

  Guilt got me to try regular pioneering twice, both times a miserable failure (because I loathed FS). Then I got to experience a different type of guilt.

  So, yes, I felt guilty.

  Pioneering, A Misnomer at Best

  Scottleblog - The Odd Life of Jehovah's Witnesses
• 

  BluesBrother

  Cobalt Cupcake said:

  "Guilt got me to try auxiliary pioneering while working full-time. It nearly killed me.

  Guilt got me to try regular pioneering twice, both times a miserable failure (because I loathed FS). "

  That was exactly my experience too. I disliked the "service" anyway and to have to go out just to rack up hours was a total turn-off. In latter years they had this big push in April/MAy and it was expected that all the elders did it. The Field Service overseer would twist my arm so hard that I would succomb and do it, hating it and hating myself for being manipulated
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  sir82

  I did.

  I nearly dropped out of college due to a heavily guilt-inducing DC talk.

  Fortunately, my JW parents were smarter than the "faithful and discreet slave" and convinced me to stay & get my degree.
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  keyser soze

  For the longest time, yes. It didn't help that my oldest brother, and both of my sisters, all became regular pioneers straight out of high school. It was naturally assumed that I would follow suit.
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  RoosterMcDooster

  Are you kidding? I felt guilty while I was pioneering !
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  tiki

  i was guilted into it but kicked out within a year because i didn't have the seven BS's and getting the 100 hours a month was next to impossible......

  in retrospect i wish i had never once in my life gone out in FS....but raised in it, you don't get away with that.....