Welcome, Vangogh. Your comment, "the awful atmosphere and feeling of those days are coming back to me" is exactly why I've not yet shared my whole story, even though I've been a member here for a while. I was born in, and have been out for over 15 years, but each time I go back to relate one part of it, I feel like I'm back inside that horrible, oppressive jail cell. I can't linger there very long, so for the moment I can only tell my story in bits and pieces.
Like you, I"m still struggling to sort out my post-JW life, particularly financially. I really appreciate those who are able to share their stories. It truly is inspiring each time I read about a successful journey. Regardless of where you may be on the road, the moment you see the light and begin the pathway out, you have found success.