Dumb Counsel

WildTurkey

What was the dumbest counsel you ever received? Once an elder was at my house and saw the video beauty and the beast, he said you should throw that away, because it promotes bestiality. He got upset with me, because I just could not stop laughing. Then this other elder and me were eating spaghetti, and talking about oral sex I told him I really didn't see anything wrong with it, he said oh yeah that's the way homosexuals have sex. I started eating the spaghetti with my spoon, and he said why don't you use your fork and I said, because that's the way the homosexuals eat spaghetti.

mindfield

LOL!!! Ouch!

Dumbest counsel ever? Well, every week I would get pestered "When will you get baptized?" and so on and so forth. Once, an elder, after I had given what was supposedly an excellent talk , asked me if I wanted to write an essay about the importance of being in God's organization. His tactic was so transparent is was pitiful. Come on. Write an essay? That's one of the stupidest things I've ever heard. Sad, really.

DakotaRed

I have to say my dumbest counsel was shortly after I stopped going to meetings and service. An elder came by and I openly admitted why I was missing meetings and service (because of lack of support from the elder body and multiple false accusations against me by step brats). Once again, I asked an elder for help working it out saying I just couldn't go out in service or meetings as long as this was all hanging over me. His reply was that the elders couldn't help me until I got my service hours and meeting attendance back up to normal.

If God's Spirit is filling a Kingdom Hall, how is it that Satan can manuever the ones within that Kingdom Hall at the same time?

Reborn2002

The dumbest counsel I ever received was when I was carrying the microphones at the meetings.

I got yanked to the back room on the Sunday the CO was visiting and was subsequently scolded that my sideburns were to the bottom of my ear, hence I was displaying a rebellious unChristian-like appearance and attitude.

I was then given an ultimatum to trim up my sideburns or to lose my microphone priviledges.

Needless to say I wasn't on the microphone list after that.

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happy man

Well as a ongoing JW i can give you one exampel.
when i have tEOCRATIC SCHOOL, some CO said to mee, that when you give addvice, peopel must sitt inn the front. I was protesting, and say in our smal kingdom hall it dont madher, he bee radher mad, and say that if i not obeyd he will putt mee of, i didnt obeyd him and nothing happend, so you see not always they have ther opinion get truh.

dedalus

I got some dumb counsel from the CO once. I was running the sound board, and during the opening song for the first meeting of his visit, he told me to turn up the volume. So I did. A few seconds later he came back and told me to turn it up some more. So I did. Still not loud enough. Finally it got so you couldn't hear the congregation singing, so loud was the music blaring from the sound system.

But what pissed me off was the lecture that I got in front of several other people after the meeting.

"Now brother," he said -- didn't even bother to ask my name, "the brothers in Bethel work hard to make that music, and we should appreciate it by playing it at a volume that can be heard."

"I could hear it before," I said.

"THAT'S NOT WHAT THE BROTHERS AT BETHEL WANT!" he roared.

"But isn't it nice to hear the congregation giving praise to Jehovah?" I asked.

"I'M TELLING YOU THAT THIS COUNSEL COMES FROM THE FAITHFUL AND DISCREET SLAVE!" he said, his face turning red.

I rolled my eyes and gave him a dirty look, but said nothing.

"Tell me," he continued, "When you're driving around in your car listening to your rock and roll music, do you keep the volume high or low?"

I stared at him and counted, slowly, to ten in my head. I could feel people watching me, and felt that the whole situation was completely stupid. Finally I said, slowly, as if talking to a small child, and dripping with sarcasm, "I only listen to Watchtower tapes in my car."

He ended by telling me to play the volume louder next time, and stormed off in a gruff. One of my local elders gave me a nod and a wink as people left the scene -- I guess this CO was a real blowhard, and everyone knew it.

Dedalus

TR

"Get a hair cut"

"Always wear a matching suit when giving talks"

TR

Preston

THAT'S NOT WHAT THE BROTHERS AT BETHEL WANT! he roared.

Man, what a dick!

Quotes

dedalus, please tell me that the CO was JACK DANLEY (a.k.a. Jack Daniel's). That sounds so much like a JACK DANLEY story. (When I knew JD in the late 80s he was CO in Ontario, Greater Toronto Area (GTA).

My Dumbest Counsel was actually a blessing in disguise. It stumbled me so much it started me on the long slow journey of exit from the B-Org.

It was the first week in September, 1989. I had been married to my (now ex) wife for exactly 4 months, which was also the length of time we had been attending that KH. Our meeting attendance and field service had been reasonable, considering we were newlyweds and this was our first summer together.

So this elder comes over for a "shepherding call", with younger Elder in tow. After about 30 mintues of the usual tripe (encourage to go to meetings, encourage to get more time in field service, etc.). He was just about to wrap things up then adds "one more thing. It has come to my attention that you are holding hands during the meeting and during the songs. You shouldn't do that because it might stumble some unmarried ones into thinking that they should be married and/or cause jealousy.

The look of surprise I saw on my wife and the younger elder was, I'm sure, also visible on my own face.

It took a few days to sink in, but it made me angry to think that this guy could even suggest that simply holding hands (we were newlyweds, remember!) was something bad and could stumble others. Of course, he used the scripture about "if your right hand stumbles your brother, cut it off".

Years later I wanted to ask him if he ever considered the thought that "if your lousy counsel stumbles your brother, then shut up!".

===========================
For interesting Watchtower Society literature quotes, complete with references but without any editorial, check out:
http://Quotes.JehovahsWitnesses.com

Flip

My sibling brother and I, during the Beatles era (after Ed Sullivan), were counseled about our hair and were told, in so many words, the length of our hair may not be pleasing to Jehovah.

The Elder that approached us gave my brother and I a way out and said he knew someone who could provide us each with a free haircut.

We both arrived the next Saturday at the local hair school academy and his, inexperienced, non-JW nephew gave both of us an embarrassing hack job.

Since then, I’ve learned, ‘the value of a service is usually equal to what you pay for it.’ … leads me to question just why are the Watchtower and Awake! are so ‘inexpensive’ or is it a volume marketing thing.

Although, over the years, I must admit during my tenure as a Jehovah’s Witness some Elders have given me some very good counsel. However, I suspect, if still alive, most of them are disfellowshiped by now.

Flip

Dumb Counsel

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