wow

by Theredeemer 17 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  snare&racket

  Louis CK about being in an unhappy relationship... (Paraphrased from memory)

  We got engaged, i realised then ..oh shit i could have left, but now I cant!

  Then we got married and I was like, oh shit..I could have left when we were engaged, but now I really cant!

  Then my wife got pregnant and I realised, the front door was right there... i could have left any time, now I cant!

  Then I had another kid amd realised how fucked I was.

  Then we got divorced..... All i could think of was.. Why the hell didnt i do this sooner! Being divorced is AMAZING, I can do what I want. Go where I want, be a free human being again!

  He then ends with a typically insightful point.. "No happy marriage has EVER , EVER ended in divorce!"

  the reason I mention this comedy routine, is because it feels the same in the JWs. It feels impossible to leave, it feels like an earth shattering decision and move. I waited 3 years to do it. I then was sooooo relieved and wondered why I hadnt done it sooner.

  Many people in life dont have tonnes of friends, lots of family or a religion but yet still live happy, successful, meaningful lives. I love my post-JW life. I have worked hard at it to ensure I enjoy my remaining years.

  It gets better buddy, dont worry xxx

  snare x
• 

  Chariklo

  Hi, TheRedeemer,

  congratulations in making it out, even though it sounds to me as if you have only managed to escape while under fire.

  You say the news leaked out. I've discovered that some JW's can be very vicious, but I've also discovered that many, maybe most are not, and that even though many might stay in out of fear of losing friends and family, and fear of the unknown, because they think they are in the only safe place, still, not everyone will be as nasty as it may seem now.

  Land if they are...well, then, they were never real friends in the first place, were they?
• 

  whathappened

  Good to hear you and your wife are both on the same page. You will have someone help you through this and it will be a much easier transition for both of you.

  Keep us updated, please, on how the other family members respond. This is of interest to many of us here.
• 

  moshe

  I recently married someone who was in as well.

  if you had doubts about the WT before you married her, it was unethical to marry a JW under those circumstances.
• 

  Theredeemer

  she knew exactly how i felt. She has been my best friend since we were 15. Also, she already had doubts of her own, therefore, unless i had lied to her and said everything if fine and dandy, nothing unethical here.
• 

  00DAD

  You have each other, that is huge!
• 

  problemaddict

  I actually kind of agree with Moshe. Not a good starting point for you guys.

  Either way, try to tread carefully and not blow yourself up. Martyrs don't work in this religion. If not one can ever talk to you, than you will lose possible influence over them when they may seek it or even need it.

  Try to think with your head and not go for instant gratification that comes with telling everyone off.
• 

  everchangingworld

  That is great that your wife is on the same page as you!

  But I know how tough it is to deal with the backlash when the word leaks out that one is leaving the org. We hoped for a quiet fade when we moved to a new city. But word went around that we weren't going to meetings, and within a few days, we were barraged with old friends wanting to "help" us or was angry at us - it was overwhelming for both of us. I'm a calm person, but that bit did a number on me. For a while it was a real emotional roller coaster ride.

  I don't know how it will be for you, but I can tell you from experience that after you ride out the storm, life gets much, much better, and much more interesting!

  Hang in there!