Damn...
My mother passed away this morning...
by Tatiana 100 Replies latest jw friends
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Tatiana
I came to re-read this today because I just realized I had several pms from wonderful people here. One (dreamgolfer) even asked if I wanted company to the funeral. Unfortunately I didn't see the messages until this week...all I saw was 'error'...I wish they'd fix this. I am soooo sorry I didn't see the pms. I would have welcomed the company. What an amazing gesture form a stranger!!
Anyway, to update, my mother had nothing. We checked the one safety deposit box she had and there was only a bag of old coins. She'd sold all the valuable ones. My niece and I paid for the cremation. My 'anointed' uncle sold some of her belongings to contribute. After he'd found out she had nothing, he sent me and my niece an email and said he was getting collection letters from the apt complex where she lived wanting $1013 dollars for cleaning her apt and he needed "us" to take care of it. Brotherly love knows no bounds. I stayed longer than I expected, going through her belongings that weren't sold and reading stories she'd written. A particularly gut-wrenching story she wrote was about how her children all followed Satan and she would be better off in the New Earth alone. It was heartbreaking to think that just a while ago she was alive...writing down thoughts and planning things to do...now she was gone forever. I flashed back to a time after my sister's death...walking through her home and knowing she'd just written the grocery list on the kitchen table. Really makes you contemplate the shortness of life and that it should not be wasted.
While going through her personal possessions, I was stunned to find my grandmother's antique 14k diamond ring. One that she never took off her finger. My grandfather bought it for her in 1930. I'd assumed it was sold also. It was wrapped in an old dirty paper towel in the bottom of a broken wooden box. I almost threw it away. I am now wearing it and will never take it off. I've left in my will to my only daughter, Tatiana. We also found bank statements saying that as recently as 2008 she'd had $79,000 in the bank. She lived in senior housing paying only $200 a month for rent and drove a 1999 car. The only furntiure she had was what my niece gave her. What became of the money? The only explanation is that she donated it to the society. There is no existing record of where it went.
At the funeral, we sat at the very front. Afterwards, people I hadn't seen for 20 years hugged me and said, "You know what you need to do! You need to come back to Jehovah!" I refused to even acknowledge the comments. Who did I acknowledge?? A girl (now a woman) who I'd known since she was a baby. I had no idea she was coming because she was disfellowshipped. She is friends with me on Facebook but never said a word about coming to the funeral. I looked up and there she was right at the front of the KH in front of everyone. I ran to her and hugged her as tight as I could. I was balling by then. She braved the dirty looks and the shunning to come and see me. I will never forget it!
It is still difficult to believe she is gone. I wake up some nights after a bad dream and the entire funeral feels surreal...like it never happened. My grandnmother and my mother are buried at the KH in Andrews. But I hope I never have any reason to go back there. A very depressing experience. -
Bangalore
Sorry about your loss,Tatiana.
Bangalore
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Adventurousone
Hello Tatiana:
Sorry to hear about your loss of your mom. It's still very difficult thing to go through wether a Jw or ExJW. Death is a very sad thing for anybody to go
through. My husband and I send our love your way. Please take care of yourself.
Adventurousone
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SeventhSojourn
Tatiana - My sympathy on the loss of your Mom. I was not on the forum then. Thank you for sharing and letting us know how you're doing.
SeventhSojourn
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OnTheWayOut
That's a beautiful update, the parts about the ring and the girl at the funeral.
Peace to you.
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Tatiana
thank you all.
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Glander
Is the lack of a PM notifiication a way of preventing "chat"? If so. Two questions, why not have chat and PM notification?
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Billy the Ex-Bethelite
"Afterwards, people I hadn't seen for 20 years hugged me and said, "You know what you need to do! You need to come back to Jehovah!""
Pffft. You could have responded, "What I need to do is come up with a bunch of money to cover the bills that she left behind for her family. Just a few years ago, she had nearly $80,000 in her nestegg. I come now and find that all that has disappeared along with the valuable antique coins that had been entrusted to her. Do you have any idea how she could have squandered so much? If I'd known that she'd become so irresponsible, I would have looked for legal protection for her assets. It's all very sad that she must have spent her last months in absolute poverty."
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Tatiana
Pffft. You could have responded, "What I need to do is come up with a bunch of money to cover the bills that she left behind for her family. Just a few years ago, she had nearly $80,000 in her nestegg. I come now and find that all that has disappeared along with the valuable antique coins that had been entrusted to her. Do you have any idea how she could have squandered so much? If I'd known that she'd become so irresponsible, I would have looked for legal protection for her assets. It's all very sad that she must have spent her last months in absolute poverty."
That is probably what I would have said if I'd known before the funeral. Didn't find the bank papers until afterward. I did email my uncle and asked him what he thought happened to the money. No reply.