Who is supposed to do the "Separating Work" for the new magazines?

by nochoice 29 Replies latest jw friends

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  nochoice

  So, there is a bit of a fight going on in our hall between our pioneer sisters and our Magazine Servant. Since the new magazines are boxed with two issues together, there is a bit of work to be done separating them. Our Magazine Servant stacked them on the counter as usual, right out of the box. Very soon, friends started coming back to the counter, informing the Magazine Servant that he failed to separate them.

  You see, the freinds are not used to having to take them apart, and it is a bit confusing because the weight of two new reduced size magazines one inside the other is about the same as one of the old magazines. I can certainly see a lot of "waste" out in the field, as householders are given two sets of each magazine. But who is responsible to separate them?

  The sisters say the Magazine Servant, since the publishers never had to do that work before. However, the Magazine Servant says that just like tracts that have to be folded by the publishers and just like the Truth tract that has to be separated into 8 different tracts by the publishers, it should be the friends job.

  So far, the elders have not been brought into it since this just occured. But I am sure The Slave has direction on the matter! Anyone know?
• 

  zed is dead

  What a bunch of lazy asses. Separate your own magazines!
• 

  SnakesInTheTower

  I am sure any day now the Governing Body® and its pharisaical Helpers™ will issue yet another mind numbing page and a half Letter to the Elders® describing in step by step detail how to handle this new Arrangement™ with an accompanying Announcement© to the Congregation™ to be read at the shortened Service Meeting® and then read again after the shortened Watchtower© Study, along with a postscript advising the Elders® to destroy all previous Letters to the Elders® and update the Index of Letters®© showing the new procedure will involve the Service Overseer©, and the Magazine Servant™ along with their assistants (in larger congregations) to meet on Saturday after Field Service™ to open the boxes and separate these smaller magazines tracts so that the Publishers® will more willingly offer them in the Magazine Tract work.

  Oh, I am sorry, did I forget paragraphs in my run on sentence.

  Snakes (Rich, of the formerly having lots of titles in the Borg Sheep Class)
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  cofty

  Dear Brother nochoice,

  Thank you for your inquiry regarding the correct theocratic procedure for dispensing the spiritual food that is published in The Watchtower and Awake magazines.

  The life-giving message contained in these unique publications behooves all of us to ensure that they are dispensed effectively to the flock of God that was entrused to your care.

  We suggest you may want to consider appointing a magazine separator who can assist the magazine servant in this vital task.

  The person appointed should have a fine reputation in the congregation and among people "on the outside". Although such an important role would normally be fulfilled by a congregation member who possesses a penis it would be acceptable to appoint a sister on an temporary basis until a suitable brother can be found. Under these circumstances the sister would want to be sure to wear a head-covering "as a sign of authority". An older copy of an Awake magazine would be suitable for this purpose in emergencies.

  We hope this direction is helpful to you and trust it will resolve the controversy that has arisen so that "all things may take place decently and by appointment."

  Your anally retentive brothers at Cult HQ.
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  baltar447

  I for one can hardly WAIT to go to laundromats and throw these new tract-like rags in the trash!
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  OnTheWayOut

  I hope they just keep accidentally handing people two of the same mag. to throw away.
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  DesirousOfChange

  But who is responsible to separate them? The sisters say the Magazine Servant.

  What's it gonna be like when they are told to start PRINTING their own at home on the computer?

  Doc
• 

  pontoon

  I can see a new position for testing out brothers who are reaching out, you know, mic carrier, sound man, mic adjuster, magazine separator, greeter.......... Hudson Valley NY
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  pontoon

  Probably should have an assistant magazine separator too just in case.......HV NY
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  wha happened?

  oh you know it. They make jobs out of useless duties and label them priviledges