Welcome John, I wonder if its worse sometimes, being a believer still but not being active in anyway because you constantly fear armaggedon.
I too am a born-in, kicked out of home at 15 the yr I was baptised for questioning the org and refusing to go to meetings.
Unfortunately after having to live with drug lords and prostitutes I began to believe that maybe it was the truth, this is just the way the org described life on the outside.
Fast forward 23 years later I found JWN and TTATT saved me from that utter BS I was trying to believe in.
I love this site, it has changed my life and I never have to go back!!
Enjoy your journey of self discovery and freedom!
Congratulations you have finally left hell.