Call Me Smiler (page 5)

Terry

(Click!)

What's that for?

Shhh, Mozelle--you know I'm a writer and a certified genius, right?

I don't know that. No.

Listen up, then. I'm giving you a head's up. Okay? Writers like me like to document things so there is less chance we'll indulge in....how shall I say it....?

"Smiler, you are completely FULL of it!"

What's the word I'm looking for......?

You call yourself a writer and you can't think of the word you want? What's wrong with this picture?!

Oh, funny girl.

So answer my question, Smiler. Why did you turn that machine on?

I told you. Not my fault if you don't pay attention.

Oh never mind! I've been wanting to ask you something.

I know. I know. You're going to ask me where Raymond ran off to---well, I don't......

Yes! Yes, you DO know.

I don't.

Yes, you DO KNOW.

Why do you say that, Mozelle? Where's your proof?''

We both know.

Then, why am I asking you questions if we BOTH know?

You did something bad to Raymond. Women have a sense of these things. You're not fooling me.

More likely it was YOU did something bad---if--something bad was done. I've never trusted you Mozelle.

Pathetic, Smiler. Accuse the accuser? Is that what passes for the famous "genius" of yours?

I don't mean to change the subject--fascinating as it is, Mozelle---but, I need to borrow money for gasoline. $50. Raymond was supposed to pay me back and he never did.

Baloney.

It's all true. He borrowed fifty bucks.

For what?

He said it was a special gift.

For who?

My guess is for YOU!

Bull corn.

Whatever. I don't say you're worth a fifty dollar gift. I'm just surmising it is Raymond's way of....

I wouldn't lend you a nickle, Smiler. I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire. You'd steal the nickles off a dead man's eyes!

Steal nickles? What are blathering about now, Mozelle?

I don't trust you. Raymond didn't either. He told me things about you. Bad things. I'm sure you know what they are...

Ummm, about not returning those library books? About forgetting to feed my parakeet that time? About-----

Your charm is wearing thin, Smiler. I use to think you were funny. Now I just think you're pathetic and dangerous!

Okay. You win. Now, what about me borrowing that twenty, Mozelle? May I?

I'll tell you what...

Yes, you do that. You tell me "what".

If you'll answer just 3 questions I ask you without lying or turning it around----and I'LL KNOW---then, the $20 is yours.

Did you notice I dropped the amount from $50 to $20?

I don't care. $50 or $150--matters not to me.

Ohhhh? Then, how about we make it for $150, then?

Answer 3 questions truthfully and I will--I'll lend you one hundred fifty dollars.

You got it! Ask away...ask away!

Question number one---and remember--I KNOW when you're lying.......

How?

You'll figure it out. You're a genius, remember?

Right.

Question #1: How long did you expect me to keep your secret?

What secret?

I knew you wouldn't answer!

That's a request for clarification, Mozelle! I need to know context to answer correctly.

Context? Here is your context: Raymond being buried alive!

What th---................say, what is this, Mozelle?

Just ANSWER!

I...uh.....oh, a month. How's that? ONE MONTH is how long. Okay?

Question #2: Do you know how you got that bump on your chin?

What??!! How do you know------?

Just ANSWER, Smiler!

I-----don't-----know.......do you?

I'm asking the questions. Your job is to answer them!

Last Question: Do you know who put you under that bridge last night?

Jesus Christ!! You're scaring me, Mozelle! How could you know that---that----what's going on here?

Just ANSWER the question, Smiler!!!

I--I---I don't know. TELL ME!!

See this?

Yeah....

You know what this is?

Yeah.....

Know what I'm going to do with it....

...........I'd rather not say........

Jim_TX

I just 'discovered yhis thread - or story. Very good writing Terry.

Keep it up. It would make a great short story - perhaps you could submit it to a monthly short story magazine (do they still exist?).

Regards,

Jim TX

rip van winkle

See this?

Yeah....

You know what this is?

Yeah.....

Know what I'm going to do with it....

...........I'd rather not say........

TERRY- WHAT IS IT???!!!

Terry

You and I will find out at the same time :)

Terry

These photos aren't the originals. They're just printer copies. So, don't get any ideas, Smiler.

I always have ideas.

Yeah, well so do I. You're big on "genius"--so, I'm sure you know what I intend to do.

I would advise against it.

You need to be worried the police will find these...."interesting". They'll pick you up so fast your shrapnel will fall out of the back of your head.

I don't have any shrapnel in my head.

I know. I've always known. You're just phoney about everything.

Okay. I know when I'm cornered. Nice work, Mozelle! What sort of negotiations do you have in mind?

You don't have anything I want.

I don't?

No.

I guess I'll be leaving, then. See you in the funny papers.

You're not going to get very far, Smiler. You tried leaving yesterday and the day before and you just ended up waking up under a bridge. Remember........no? NO? toooo baaaad.

You've really got my attention! I'm all ears. See how perky and large my pupils are? Wide and interested!

You are all bullshit and ego and bad manners, Smiler.

Granted. Don't you want to compare your version of things with the truth? I'll verify your pet theory....

Forget it. I'll talk to Plez Junior if I need verification.

Plez? Junior? Waaaaait.....what kind of silly......... What are you going on about?

Your Father's son. That's Plez Junior.

I don't have any brother!

Technically correct.

My father had other kids? Not with my Mom--that's for sure. She had a hysterectomy after I was born.

Not even warm, Smiler. Bad acting, too.

Who or what, then, is Plez Junior?

You see the photos, don't you?

Kinda. It's me burying our old friend.

Wrong. It isn't YOU. It is Plez.

I never buried any "Plez Junior"-- you are cracked!

I crack YOU up?? That's funny. I think I'll just let you twist slowly slowly in the wind on this...

Give me those photos!!

Hey--stop snatching! You gave me a paper cut, moron!

That IS ME! What's your game?

It is NOT you. I told you.

I'm missing something? What? Stop giggling at me. What am I missing? WHAT WHAT??

Oh, allright. You're too pathetic and you're starting to bore me. No genius art thou. But, dumb as a box of rocks--yes!

So? Why do you keep saying this photo isn't me digging a shallow grave and tossing Raymond in......covering him with plastic........and shoveling in the rocks and dirt?

Because you weren't there---Plez was there. You know how I know it wasn't you? Plez was screaming profanities left and right! Yes--shocked? If it were you----well...you don't ever use words like that.

I have a terrible headache. I think I'll throw up. I'm dizzy. I need to sit down.

Help yourself to the floor, Dr. Jekyll. Whatever floats your boat. That's a photo of Mr. Hyde there and you're having a come-apart.

Ohh, I'm sick.....where's the bathroom..............................ulp!

Disgusting! I can't believe I ever thought you were cute. You've been off your Meds for about a month. Whenever that happens---those "other" things start to happen. Put 2 and 2 together. Use your fingers if necessary!

OHHHHHH ullllp ullllllp ohhhhhhh...I'm so sick........

I'll leave these right here on the floor. When you get through upchucking clean up after yourself. Or should I say, clean up after Plez Junior......again!

Ohhhhh Gooooood......

Satanus

Hearing strains of 'friends of mr cairo' by vangelis.

S

rip van winkle

2+2= Oh... another personality!

Call Me Smiler

rip van winkle

coffee_black

Terry

Jim_TX

rip van winkle

Terry

rip van winkle

Terry

Satanus

rip van winkle

Share this