Maybe If I just turn to Jesus as some of you have, all will become clear.
Maybe, although I am not sure it's "Jesus" that you would want to turn to, dear one (peace to you!). Some think it is... but then have difficulties why "he" doesn't speak to/give them what they ask... or why they don't hear "him."
I don't know If I'm ready to have another mystical experience just yet, I don't know if I want to give up possession of my mind again so soon.
Well, I haven't experienced anything that I would call "mystical" (although I know some like to say/think that that is the case - it isn't)... and I certainly have had to give up my mind! To the contrary, I have found/been given more than I ever knew I possessed! My mind... AND my spirit!
I also don't want to accidentally shut out truth just because I can't understand something, so I'll keep reading and looking.
Maybe it will lead me to being born again, maybe to gnosticism, maybe I'll never have 'the answer' again. I've asked Jesus about it, maybe he'll help me decide.
Maybe. But knowing what... or rather WHO... that "truth" is is a good place to start. Again, not sure about "Jesus" but you could try this: go to God (JAH - Psalm 68:4)... and ask Him to send you HIS truth (John 14:6). Just don't take it too hard if the One who shows up tells you he isn't "Jesus." Don't let that stumble you. Just put faith in the One who DOES come... and let him help you work out the details.
What would you suggest for my first Non-NWT bible reading?
John 5:39, 40 (indeed, if you can grasp the truth set out in just these two verses, you might not need to read any others... ever) John 8:32, 36 John 14:6 John Chapters 14-16
Note, I wouldn't necessarily suggest it be non-NWT Bible. True, their small black/green Bible is an atrocity and one of if not THE worst Bible versions out there. However, their large brown Reference Bible is probably one of, if not the best, out there. Still, if you do as the Apostles did... and let HIM "fully open up the Writings" to you (Luke 24:27, 32, 44, 45)... it really doesn't matter which Bible version you use - he will tell you the accurate rendering/transliteration. All YOU have to do is listen to what HE says about it... and then put faith in what you heard (from him).
I hope this helps and, again, peace to you!
YOUR servant and a slave of Christ,
SA