Hi FC! You and I are in very similar predicaments only mine is baptized. :(
I have spent a year and a half researching and I have to tell you, the breadth of the challenges can be overwhelming. Years ago, I was married to an abusive husband, divorced him, became a single mother who put herself through college while being blessed with getting her child into an independent school (leveraging a scholarship), I have a consulting business, I'm on a board of directors of a small theater company, I have a full time job, and I own rental property.
Understanding the constructs and the evolution of these doctrines (along with the REAL reasons for the constructions), then attempting to gently deconstruct the damage that has been done to a born-in victim is harder than anything I've ever done. As you learn more, listening to a rationalization as he sits before you truly believing that what he knows to be real is incredibly painful.
Reading this board with its variety of ex-JWs in various parts of their own processes of deconstruction, reconstruction and emotional healing has helped me tremendously so definitely stick around. You will learn a lot. This process has quite a few moving parts. First the questioning, then the learning, then there's an emotional component.. a social component... it's just absolutely mindboggling. If your BF is questioning, you're ahead of my curve.
I'm in a position where I'm asking questions, he's providing WT answers, and I'm deconstructing the answers and asking him to answer for the WT constructions. He's grasping for the reality he's always known and the reality keeps turning into vapors.... but still he believes.
As outsiders, I think we have more leeway to demand answers to questions that insiders can't ask without appearing to be going against the GB. We can PM each other whenever we're faced with breakthroughs and/or challenges!