by NeverKnew 28 Replies latest social relationships
hahaha! oh no! To notice flowers and fresh smelling people I have to go!
He had someone set up a study for me with a "nice" lady in his hall. She was very odd. It lasted two sessions before she left a message on my phone telling me she would not be meeting with me. she was calling me names on my answering message.... as far as I'm concerned, "faultfinder" is negative. I think he was a little embarrassed about her behavior.
Just keep the literal, figurative, spiritual, typical and anti-typical Vaseline in a convenient location based on the circumstances.
However, if you at least outwardly support him in his "spiritual" goals, attend an occasional meeting and speak well of others, the congregation is less likely to mix the Vaseline with sand or gravel.
Rub a Dub
Gravel I can take. Shards of glass mixed with rat poison is another story.
Re-reading all of your advice now that I can view it on a 21 inch IMac and not a 3 inch Droid screen.
Flipper: I love the idea of asking if he sees anything good outside of the Witnesses. A few days ago, he freaked me completely out with some language about the world being controlled by Satan. I told him I choose to believe that I'm protected by Jesus so Satan and whatever his business is was not my problem. He continued on with asking about the children who died and asked if that was from God. I explained that some of us believe that after dying, one goes to a better place. We both realized the conversation was going to go nowhere at that point. LOL
JGnat: Worried that even in attending, my annoyance factor would rise. I might even feel compelled to raise my hand and answer a question.... don't tempt me... everyone who knows me would tell you I'd do it. I'm going to look for this book. It ought to be a fascinating read.
Everyone: You all are giving me a broad and bleak picture of this whole situation. Thanks, I think.
Going to read my other thread of advice before I head out to meet him.
Starting to think that saying no words and just giving him a New Years hug at midnight and leaving would be better than saying anything at all.
You could raise your hand but there's no guarantee they would call on you. In fact, as an "outsider" I could pretty well guarantee you wouldn't be called on. The meetings are pretty tightly controlled. After one meeting I cornered an elder and gave him a piece of my mind regarding the admonitions against a college degree (a subject of that meeting). He had on his Kevlar armour on that day, though, so nothing sank in. He gave me some drivel about it being an "individual decision."
He kept an eye on me after that. Little nazi in short pants.
He had someone set up a study for me with a "nice" lady in his hall. She was very odd. It lasted two sessions before she left a message on my phone telling me she would not be meeting with me. she was calling me names on my answering message.... as far as I'm concerned, "faultfinder" is negative. I think he was a little embarrassed about her behavior.
Oh they hate it when a person makes them work at their brainwashing sessions, instead of just going along with the programing.
I have been reading about your story Neverknew. I know it sounds cliché, but if you love him…and yourself… let him go. The overwhelming advice you are getting here are WARNINGS, red flags. If you go in to be with him the both of you will be miserable. I know, it’s really hard when you connect with someone and feel it in your bones to walk away from them. But for the mere fact that he is trying to deal with you tells me he has a lot of emotion for you. He is in a conflict. Maybe the bigger lesson is for you to set him free and let his heart truly decide where he wants to be. It may take time, but love never fails. (I know... another cliché!)
Why do I say this? Because I was the JW who fell for a non-JW and developed a connection so strong to this man that when I finally did leave (on my terms) I went RIGHT BACK TO WHAT FELT RIGHT!
Let him go. Let him feel the loss of something right. Find a peace in your heart knowing letting him go now may bring him to you later, without the heartache.
Hi Sophie!
I'm not going anywhere near this cult! :)
I'm not clear on this....
when I finally did leave (on my terms) I went RIGHT BACK TO WHAT FELT RIGHT!
When you left the KH or him?... and what did you go back to ... the KH or him? :)
We have been together and lost each other in the past. Neither of us wants to lose again without an attempt to understand "that which we've always known." I've learned from the board and other sites not to present my position right now. I'm okay with that. I'm firmly planted on the inside. In fact studying the history of the evolutionary doctrine of the WT made me to learn more about and appreciate that which I've grown up learning even more. I have to say that given what I'm seeing in the posts with respect to challenging one's own belief (ie challenging what the B'Org says), I'm VERY proud of him. He's got his toe in the water. Every once in a while, he reels back to the safety of that which he's always known, but I think he's trying to work through it.
We'll see!
I really want this to work out for you, but I am very pessimisic.
