I'm in, and having a hard time biting my tongue sometimes

by noonehome 22 Replies latest jw friends

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  noonehome

  I'm 20 and very much still in right now. I spend allot of time with other young witnesses my age, and am very close to a few of these friends. My question is, is there ANY way to SAFELY talk about doubts? For instance, I've been learning allot about evolution and the science behind the flood (or lack thereof). What allot of my friends say is that people only believe in evolution as an excuse to live a 'worldly life'. First of all, I don't think they know very much about evolution, but disagreeing and explaining myself honsestly just seems too dangerous.

  In service last week a sister in my cargroup starts talking about the concubine in judges who basically gets chopped to bits and shipped peice by piece accross Ireal. "That is sooo messed up," she kept saying, almost jokingly. I agreed, yes it's messed up, as are allot of the accounts in the old testament. She is a pioneer and very 'spiritualy-strong' as it were, and just said the Judges account was something she'd go study again. So instead of listening to her gut reaction she is going to swallow the Watchtower spin and praise Jah.

  Its always about the spin. I wish people could just think for themselves and have an honest and candid conversation, without fear of their life being ruined. Those damn telescreens I tell ya.

  Did you ever talk to someone candidly who is in?
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  flipper

  NONEHOME- Welcome to the board ! Nice to have you here. Yes, I have tons of family that are still in the Witnesses and I've tried to talk candidly to them but they are under the influence of mind control tactics by the WT Society. It's one of the main reasons it's next to impossible to reason with JW's because they are taught NOT to question WT Society's authority on any and all information. So most JW's are unable pscychologically or physiologically to use their minds with critical thinking ability, because their minds have been pre=programmed so to speak.

  Unless a JW will look at other sources of information outside what the WT Society provides - chances are they'll remain under the mind controlled influence and not question ANYTHING the WT Society says
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  thecrushed

  I've been there! Wait I'm still there with my wife and the whole family. The best policy is to come here and vent off some steam. Do not say anything that can and WILL be used against you in a kangaroo court. I have a mother in law that is super brainwashed. Just yesterday her dog died and I expressed my sympathies to her only to have her emediately change the subject to me and how I've left Jehoover and that I shouldn't forget the KM review this month. WTF! She then tells my wife that I hate her and well she is almost right because I can't have a single conversation with her without it turning to my perceived spiritual failures. The guilt trips don't work on me anymore it just pisses me off.
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  wha happened?

  I remember my last year in. I hated sitting and listening to the stupid comments. I so wanted to talk to some people about it. Eventually I found a few friends I could trust.

  Be very careful. Dubs are really quick to flip on u and call u an apostate. Your closest friends will turn on you and feel good about it the next day
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  Londo111

  What is funny is that a good percentage of people who accept evolution and do not believe in a global (rather than regional) Flood are Christians. And even non-Christians or even non-believers live moral lives and are very conscientious.

  Of course, the one thing you must understand is this is a high control group. The more you read about high control groups and mind control, the better prepared you will be. There is no room to freely discuss these things in a high control group (aka cult).

  I’ve a hard time biting my tongue as well and it has cost me relationships. But as time goes on, the more foreign the JW mindset becomes. It hurts to lose these relationships, but sometimes it also hurts to maintain them.
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  jgnat

  How about planting a question here or there? (Don't supply the answer)
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  whathappened

  I so envy you. If only I had known the truth about the truth at your age. You are young enough to fully recapture your life.

  Play your cards close to the vest, as others have suggested. Your closest allies can turn on you in seconds.

  I just ordered one of Steve Hassons books, the latest ones, as it has been highly, highly recommended. Do all your homework before you say anything.
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  moshe

  My question is, is there ANY way to SAFELY talk about doubts?

  YES!

  First go sign up for the military and a week before you go to boot camp, you can spill your guts out and say exactly what is on your mind to everyone at the Kingdom Hall. Ah, the freedom to be yourself.
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  ekruks

  noonehome - I have tried to talk candidly to those in, but tbh, it's unlikely to convince them they are wrong, but cause them to think you are a bit crazy. I've spoken to family and elders, but they don't want to know they are wrong, but are offended I am breaking their little dream. Those bits in the Bible about chopping up the concubine, or the bit whether Lot has sex with his daughters, or Abraham offers his son to Jehovah (sound like the so criticised Baal worship, anybody?!), are really sick, but nobody wants to know, they just want the bits about paradise and be nice to others. The blood issue is wrong (sure, AIDS exists, but this is not what the Acts passage is about, it's about being so loyal to God you will give him your life - really sick!) but no one expects it to happen.

  You've realised it's wrong. Don't let them ruin your life. If you are still living with your parents, you have to make a careful escape plan. If you can, go to university, while the rent is cheaper at home. Get a qualification and get a real job. If you speak out about what you think, you will be marked by the elders, watched, given a lot of pressure, and this 'worldly / rebel' tag will mean they will look down on you studying and oppose it. I was literally thrown out on the street when I disagreed with the elders and it was very difficult to hold down work, eventually get a flat. Instead, keep a low profile, just keep going along with the car party on the ministry, doing a token effort each month, quietly attend the meetings, so no one suspects you, and at the same time study for a qualification. As you won't have a 'rebel' tag, and can politely point to others, especially elder's kids studying qualifications, you will get away with not pioneering, and not have to clean windows or stack supermarket shelves for the rest of your life. Once you get your degree and your own flat, then stop going to meetings!
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  ParadiseCircus

  I talked to a close friend about the fact that there's no evidence for a global flood. He conceded that a global flood might not have happened but that it wasn't a 'dealbreaker' for him. We never hung out again after that. My advice: tread lightly.