by Eustace 28 Replies latest jw friends
A major source of disillusionment for me was my parents divorce. I spent all of my life praying to Jehovah to keep my parents and family together. When they were separated, NOT 1 elder attempted to meet with them to help them work things out.
Many JWs divorce for "unscriptural reasons" also. If you lie on your mate and the story is dramatic enough, then the divorce is ok with the org.
we had 9 divorces in our congregation in a few years
My brother (an elder) told me when he was talking to me,
trying to get me to come back, there was a problem with
brothers getting divorces, getting DF, getting reinstated
and remarrying sisters that cause them to be DF. I knew of
three such cases. two of the brothers were elders. Over
40% of the brothers that I knew that came in around the same
time I did are divorced today.
I'm part of that 1975 generation but I did not rush to marriage. From 1973 to 1975 there were 2 to 4 marriages each month in our circuit. Sometimes 2 weddings on one weekend so that there were weddings after the meeting on Sunday. Of the weddings 1 out of 20 survive today. I never knew where the idea came from that there would not be marriage among the survivors of the GT since I can't find that in the pubs. I remember the wild idea that was passed around that at some point marriage itself would be done away with in the new system. This vow seemed to indicate that the arrangement might end.
*** w74 5/1 p. 275 What Kind of a Wedding? ***
In refreshing contrast to such trends, which dishonor the God-given state of marriage, Jehovah’s witnesses use the following vow, as was recommended in The Watchtower of March 15, 1969:
For the groom: “I ————— take you ————— to be my wedded wife, to love and to cherish in accordance with the divine law as set forth in the Holy Scriptures for Christian husbands, for as long as we both shall live together on earth according to God’s marital arrangement.”
For the bride: “I ————— take you ————— to be my wedded husband, to love and to cherish and deeply respect, in accordance with the divine law as set forth in the Holy Scriptures for Christian wives, for as long as we both shall live together on earth according to God’s marital arrangement.”
*** w60 11/1 p. 657 par. 34 Marriage in Paradise ***
Single survivors will enjoy the privilege of entering into married life with theocratic partners and will have the happiness of raising children under Paradise conditions, with Satan the Devil bound.
I think you have hit it, Blondie. There may not have been specific stuff in the publications, but I know there was thinking that if you died during the great tribulation, then you would be resurrected and could not marry. Hence the "as long as you both live on earth" part in the vows.
I know I always had the thought in my mind that I was going to be raped (as per the horror stories we were fed), so I hoped I'd at least get to enjoy my first sexual experience with someone I loved.
Of course, then I rebelled and married a non-JW. Twice. Both ended in divorce, though, and my religion played a big part.
I wonder whether these statistics are looking at current JWs who get divorced while JWs, or if they include divorced people (mostly women) who join the religion?
In my own case, once I left the WBT$ things went downhill over about 2 years.
It started with my JW wife adopting a religiously superior stance. I was comitting no ''sin'' I simply wouldn't have any truck with WBT$ propaganda.
After she failed to turn the children against me she left.
Then she secretly planned to leave me over a period of..???....how long I don't know.
After she left she rang me out of the blue one day to say: 'I didn't leave you because of the watchtower!'
I took it from this that she is so frightened of 'the tower' that she felt compelled to say this so Jehovah(TM) doesn't kill her.
She is now trying to get back at me by continually badgering my JW mother and reporting her to the elders for talking to me.
Unky Punky get a avo against her...
the courts wont allow her to do this...it is a form of domestic violence
lp
l p - That'd be great but it would get a lot more complicated if I did
They're a crazy and f*cked up organisation and that's the bottom line. I won't mince my words because they ruin people's lives and get away with it.
My wife and I have been separated for a year and a half. The decision to separate was a mutual agreement and we agreed it was only temporary, but her JW parents got in her ear once she went back home to where she's originally from and she then decided we had no chance of reconciliation and that the marriage was over for good. Now looking back, it's obvious she had planned this from way before. But the point is, I spoke to a JW aunt at the time (whom I now totally DESPISE) trying to get comfort (which is a mistake for anyone to do - trying to get sympathy from a witness is a bad move) and all this witch could tell me is that if we had followed bible principles, we'd still be together and that I shouldn't initiate divorce proceedings as long as she hasn't committed adultery. She's telling me that if no adultery has been committed then I should just remain celibate for the rest of my life and come back to the organisation where I will supposedly have "mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters etc" whatever that stupid scripture says.....you know, the very same people that caused me to leave in the first place. She's telling me that there are "brothers" in the org that have chosen to remain single and they are being "blessed".
So that's supposed to be of comfort to someone whose marriage has been destroyed?! I'm 33, I was 32 at the time when I spoke to her and you're telling me as a healthy, fairly young male who has needs like anyone else, I'm just supposed to throw away any possibility of settling down and starting a family just to go back to knocking on doors and handling a microphone amongst of group of people who wouldn't even give a shit about me any old damn way?
It's times like this when you see the difference between the dubs and most other religions....and not in a good way. I have another aunt who actually calls me to find out how I am and invites me over to dinner (unlike that dub aunt). Now this aunt is a REAL christian....she attends a Baptist church. Now I consider myself a spiritual person and don't subscribe to any religions including christianity, however what she told me is this: If you and your marriage partner have separated and one is adamant that the marriage is over and doesn't wish to reconcile but you did everything in your power to make things work, then God knows you made and effort but also recognises that you are a human with needs, therefore it isn't wrong to initiate a divorce and remarry.
You see the difference? Dubs have this black and white, one size fits all hardline approach to things and if you don't like it, tough shit. Irrespective of the lives ruined, Jehovah (more like the GB) says this and you just have to fall in line. Don't they see that there are so many unscriptural divorces taking place for a reason??? I mean, for goodness sake, you can't even court the person for more than a year or really get to know them on a private level without people looking at you funny, then when things don't work out, everybody's surprised.
I just know that I'll hopefully start divorce proceedings sometime this year so that I can truly move on with my life and eventually meet someone else. The dubs and their beloved GB can shove their doctrine.
