Dear Falling away. My heart and prayers go out to you and your family. I have recently started researching my "nagging questions" and 3 months ago I decided to stop turning in service time. I'm truly sorry about the hardships you have been going through in your life as a JW. It is stories like these that have always made me question the "love" because what you have experienced is not love. I think you are at the point I was at 3 months ago. You are having the internal conflict that I had and still have. One thing that has helped me....read the bible and prayer....and to use a line from the WT. "Apostates tell half truths and lies", so if you are finding things that are half truth and lies being taught by the WT...then what are they?" I know that is very judgemental on my part, but even just simplely think about this....The truth on ANYTHING will always stand...no matter what lies are said about truth, it will stand. But the lies on the otherhand, lies will crumble and fall under the truth. The only truth out there is the bible. I understand with how you are with your husband. I had to and still have to do the same thing with mine. Tell him things in small amounts. We both have stopped going and in the beginning, I had to do it in small doses with him beause he would physically become sick. Research the WT history "outside" of the WT. Whatever you and your family decide to do, stay or leave, don't ever just blindly follow the WT, because there have been so many times I have heard them go against the bible and Jah and they think it's okay. What does the bible say about lying...is not Satan called the father of the lie? Or I can't remember the exact wording but something about there is no untruth found in God....why would Jah support someone who is lying? Most JW don't realize this the first sin was based on a lie. Satan lied to Eve and look what happened. So why would Jah "back" anything that is a lie? That is why Jah hates lying so much. Your aunt is right, this is a cult and once your eyes are open to that and/or you leave. You can see it. I'm not bitter towards the fellow JW's, I'm very sad by what the common publisher goes through. I'm bitter towards the fact of the mind control and fear the organization has put me through. Once you are in, you can't leave without losing something. Just last week my grandmother told my aunt that we are inactive and my parents and I have been labeled apostate and my aunt forbid my grandmother from talking to me and my mom. We are labeled apostates and now our mutual friends won't even listen to us to say we are not and all we really are is inactive. Also remember too, Jesus said you cannot hate your fellowman or brother and love God....(I'm probably wrong on the wording on that one too), there is hate among the JW, my aunt proves it and from what you said in your story to on how the "friends" treated you. If you want you can sent me a private message and since I'm still researching and trying to deal with the fear of leaving (yes even after 3months, I still have moments where I think I'm going to die and have fear of the ogranization, the organization, not fear of God, which there is something wrong with that, I know that, but then I pick up the bible and just start reading and there is something to bring me back in line with Jah's thinking and not the organizations thinking), so maybe we can help each other and with the experience with my husband, I had to take it very slow with him. As a side comment, I've come to realize that the PTSD my husband has, it's all but gone now since we have left and whenever he thinks we are going back to the JW's he starts having PTSD symtoms again and I have to tell he over and over, that we don't have to go back...So now I understand where his PTSD is from. Welcome to the board and I hope the wonderful folks on here can help you. I will be praying for you and your family. I know how hard this is. Jah bless you and your efforts.
I am new here and need help...or just a listening ear
by Fallingaway 42 Replies latest jw experiences
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Gojira_101
I did forget to mention something. Since my husband and I have left, we feel so free now when we read the bible. We no longer have those feelings of worthlessness that I've grown up with my whole life. Even as a regular pioneer, I still left like I was worthless and no matter what I did I was still not doing enough and I was going to die at armageddon.
Now after reading the bible, I actually think I have a chance. and the feelings of guilt and being unworthy are gone. Also please read Daniel 11:32-35 and pay attention to verse 35. Does it not feel like a fire in us when we start learning what the real truth is? These scriptures helped my husband and I.
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Ding
Welcome, Fallingaway!
I have sent you a PM.
The way to access private messages is to click on the little envelope in the upper right corner of the top of the screen.
If you get an error message, click on it again.
If you have any trouble figuring it out, just post an entry in this thread and someone will help you.
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BluesBrother
WELCOME FALLINGAWAY !
It is a pleasure to have you here.... Your story is so very typical of many others and I can relate to much of it myself, althogh mercifully not the problems that you had with Bros in the Congregation.
I too was at a point where the more I tried to study and meditate on things, the more questions it just raised up. The change of the 1914 generation teaching in the nineties and a host of other things made me really wonder what I was doing. I was an elder, I felt that I was on a treadmill and exploited by the others.......I had to carry on for a while and , like you, I knew the sadness of feeling a hypocrite.
Eventually I was able to "stand down" and then fade away. My wife is still a zealous "sister" so I cannot claim success in helping her out. But you know your husband best, try to work out what really keeps him in and that is the area to work on . ALL aspects of the WTS doctrine can be challenged so keep reading this board and the links to the other excellnt sites..
Most of all...Keep Posting, we want to hear more!
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steve2
Hello falling away. I feel for what you've been through and are still going through.
Contrary to the frightened - and often desperate - JW mentality, there is absolutely no rush for you to "work' out what you "should" do. You literally have time on your side. Looks like you are wanting to take more considered steps anyway. Good for you. One of the most unhelpful things you could do would be to desperately try to sort everything out so that your loved ones are fully protected. That will require lots of careful thought, consulting, reading, drawing upon your own and others experience and interpersonal skill. Your life to date shows that you are resourceful and your post, that you are capable of clear thinking and planning - these are such promising indicators! There is every reason to be hopeful. Look upon 2013 as the year you carefully and considerately weighed up the options for yourself, your marriage and your immediate family.
This forum is a great place to start because it makes room for a range of views rather than "pretending" to have the answers which could set you on a course than is more "out-of-the-frying-pan-and-into-the-fire" than genuine progress and growth. All the best.
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happy@last
Welcome, I can sympathise with you, I recognise a lot of your story in my life experiences in the 'organisation'. Take your time, never stop learning.
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Londo111
Dear Sister,
Welcome! I believe you have been led to the right place to start looking for answers.
I remember telling a friend a number of years ago, “Jesus said, ‘Do not judge’, but lots of the friends are very judgmental. We don’t really focus on that scripture…we need to go back and focus on these basic teachings of Jesus.” It was the lack of application of Christianity that woke me up. The elders did not practice what Jesus taught. They ignored mercy. I realized they resembled the Pharisees whom Jesus condemned.
It was then I finally started to look for answers on such matters as 607 BC, 1914, and so forth.
If you haven’t already, I encourage you to read Crisis of Conscience, as well as its follow-up In Search of Christian Freedom. It is not an angry or bitter diatribe, but rather a fair but frank examination of the organization written by a humble Christian brother who was once a member of the Governing Body. I believe many of the answers you seek are in these books.
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shadow
I have a different perspective.
Most JW's have an unrealistic concept of the "truth", the GB, elders, Bethel, etc. and why wouldn't they? This is the picture painted by the org.
But when we start to see the flaws it dashes the picture we have built up in our minds. I have no doubt that many things are wrong, some of which are very serious. I've read this board for many years and observed many families break up over this. Many others lose faith in God and the Bible leaving them without any hope for the future except rotting in the ground. Others run back to Christendom and happily celebrate all the holidays ASAP.
Sometimes I can hardly contain my revulsion at some of the things being taught and also find it very hard to go in field service. I no longer serve as an elder but still comment selectively. I don't want to break up my family nor lose the faith that remains in me. I also look to the Bible and see that I was stupid to have such high expectations of other humans. True enough that they want us to have that picture but it is a standard that is impossible to achieve. All thru the Bible we read of how bad humans are when they turn into leaders. WT leadership is no exception. So I stay a JW even though I disagree with a number of things and have had my perception of the organization adjusted to be more realistic.
Feel free to PM me if you wish. I refrain from getting into long arguments on here anymore.
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moshe
My husband and I have two small children, one of which recently became an unbaptised publisher and joined the school.
Get out ASAP!! As long as you have official ties to the JWs, those kids are subject to being sucked into the WT religion and guess what? Now you will lose them, if you leave the KH.
Put your children first and walk away from the KH. Start a new life and let that good life be a beacon to your JW family to follow you out, too.
good luck
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clarity
Falling ... so many witnesses feel much the same as you,
and there is a good reason for it..... they and you are being
"led down the garden path!"
Bamboozled, Fleeced, Deluded!
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They command that you "leave the thinking to them"
No Critical Thinking Allowed! Don't Trust Your Heart!
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You become followers of MEN!
You belong to the Watchtower Publishing & Real Estate CO.
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Take a break from the confusion... claim 'woman's troubles' or
having a case of nerves ... anything, just take a break!
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Your mind will start to clear immediately!
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Take it slowly, armageddon is not right around the corner,
and congrats for waking up, cults are extremely hard to exit!
clarity