Being raised by a single mom was bad enuff for me, a hard headed boy. Add to that a mom that was in and out of the JW's all my life and you can see where the potential for disaster for me came from.
None of you know me, I just found this site while doing research on the death of someone in California (ex-JW). I like what I see, for the most part.
I was raised from a young age with the threat of death in 1974-75 if I wasnt a good witness. Mom had kicked out her live-in boyfriend because the guy she was studying with told her how she was evil living in sin. Well, not one year later, she married this same guy... I was 12 then, I think. That was the beginning of the end.
Our Kingdom Hall was full of families, lots of kids my age. This was in the 1969-70 timeframe, for those of you that remember how things were then. Charles Manson and Woodstock were the big news items, plus walking on the moon. All of us kids were really pushed into out-doing each other.... massive peer pressure. Much of what we were "forced" into still effects me to this day. More on that later.
We lived in the Philly, PA area... Drexel Hill to be precise. I dont have many, if any, happy memories there. Moms new hubby was one of those physical guys.. liked to hurt you to get his point across. He was younger than mom, not sure why he hooked up with her. I remember being punched, shoved into walls, and having my head slammed against the wall (cement block).. and all of this was in the back room of the Hall.
With the threat of death in Armageddon hanging over my head, plus all the bullshit trouble I was getting into, I had to make a decision. Here it was 1972 and in my teenage mind, I only had 2 or 3 years left to live. My choices were stay put and die, or vanish and have fun before me and the other eveil ones died. I chose fun....
I ran away the first time in the spring of '72... only went a few blocks away, ended up in a biker commune down the street. Beer, dope, Harleys, and topless women were all I saw for 3 days. I will never forget those guys, they taught me much in 3 days. I was caught and taken home just outside that place.
A month or so later I split again, with a friend. We went to relatives 300 miles away. That lasted 2 weeks, till they turned me in. Back home again, I was told over and over how if I didnt change my ways, I didnt stand a chance of everlasting life. HA! I didnt want it if it meant living with them!
While on vacation in West Virginia a month later, I snuck out in the middle of the night. I had money I stole from wallets of the people we were vacationing with, so all I needed from there was luck. I walked most of the nite, hitchhiking. When the sun came up, I got a ride with a nice couple. They asked me this and that, I lied to cover my tracks. Turns out they were JW's and were headed for some meeting... hahaha.. I cant escape it!
I ended up in Lexington, Kentucky. There is no room here for details of the 8 months or so I was there, living in the streets.... but to tell you I ended up in prison there should give you an idea of my life there. I was 16.
Fast forward to 1974... I am 18 and going off the deep end, doing everything I can to have fun and take chances. I had no fear, none at all. I was soon to die anyhow, so why not do it on my terms. Looking back, I think I was suicidal.. via lifestyle.
Moving up to 1976... back to hitchhiking the country. I did California round trip twice, New Orleans once, and all over the east coast several times. I couldnt hold a job, and didnt want any friends. I was a dropout looking for fun. I had gotten good at lying, and could turn off my conscience anytime I needed to. I was my own god.
Fast forward to 1981.... we got a call from a cop friend that our house was about to get raided on a drug bust (yes, we were big dealers). Me and my friend split, only taking what I could carry. I drove 200 miles away and hid out at relatives. I spent a few weeks sitting on the porch at my aunts, not drinking or drugging... and many thoughts came back to me from the past. The one big one was "What the hell... the world didnt end!". I wasted years of my life for nothing, dammit. I had to do something.
I went back into the army. Having no family or girlfriend made it easy to do. I loved it too, it was me. While home, I met my current wife (1982) and she was as good for me as the army had been. She taught Sunday School (Methodist) and I was a religion-hating biker... a good mix.
After getting 2 DUI's in a year, I was forced into psycotherapy. While there, I learned all about "me", and the root of my problems. That timeframe of learning was where I was able to let go of all the bullshit in my head from the JW's and my family. I was free.
Today, I am 45, married to the same cool chick I met in '82, have 2 kids that are wonderful, and am happy. I have a college degree, and dont party anymore. I do have my Harleys and smoke cigars, and if thats the worst stuff I do, so be it.
Lesson to be learned from all this? NEVER force religion on anyone. Never threaten a kid. Never beat a kid.
And most importantly.... never come to my door selling JW stuff.
Animal
ps... after writing this, I think I could write a book. I barely touched on the story.