To the Household of God, Israel, and those who go with... may you all have peace!
I just wanted to share with you, briefly, what I have come to understand as to why disfellowshipping by the WTBTS works... why it can continue being fomented as it is. I realize there are pages and pages of studies regarding cults and cult mindsets, etc., but I am not going to inundate you with such but rather try to keep this simple. Disfellowshipping works, yes, because of fear... something we all understand: the WTBTS members are taught to fear those who the "authorities" say are "bad association," for whatever reasons. And yes, they use threats of "Armageddon" and displeasing God to foment such fear. But there is another thing that allows this phenomenon to continue as well... and that is the mental laziness of the people who accept it.
I ask those of you here, who have experienced disfellowshipping, even perhaps some kind of marking/reproof... how many of your JW family members/friends bothered to come to you and ASK you what had taken place to warrant your expulsion/marking... in an effort to really understand? My guess is not many, if any. I am willing to wager that MOST of them simply took the word of others (elders) not only that you "deserved" to be so expelled/marked... but as to why.
If that is the case, I want to ask you: how did/do you feel about that? How did it make you feel to know that people you cared about... and thought cared about you... never even bother to ask YOU what the situation was all about? Did that not make you feel terrible, perhaps even angry at those who were accusing you? And how did it make you feel about those who did not so ask you... but blindly accepted such accusations? Did it confuse you, cause you to question whether you had really known such people, or had ever even meant anything to such people?
Of course, having been treated in such a way, the last thing that you would [want to] do is treat others so, yes? Having experienced the pain and disillusioned such caused you... would you not at least go, if you could, or perhaps call... and speak to anyone among YOUR family/friends who now faced a similar situation? Especially if the "rumor" is that they're "apostates", or had committed some heinous (but not mortal) wrong that you just can't fathom (for example, the rumor is that they've "left 'Jehovah'" and have now joined up with people who sacrifice their children to a pagan god)? Knowing the many lies that were told about YOU... would you not at least make some effort to find out whether the rumors are actually TRUE?
OR... would you continue in the learned practice you had before... of just accepting what others said to you... perhaps some elder(s)... or even some sundry publisher... maybe one you didn't even know before... that the person was indeed engaged in some awful conduct, that the "authorities" WERE right (of course, they are - they're ALWAYS right and no one can/should speak against them)... and assume them some kind of "evildoer"?
Today, we ourselves are sometimes falsely accused by others, even after having left the harlotous confines of the WTBTS. We know what it was like being falsely accused by those of her... and, unfortunately, we sometimes feel the pain of being falsely accused since. Should we, though, engage in that kind of similar conduct, basing our perceptions of others on accusations made against them... sometimes by people WE don't even know, let alone who don't know THEM... without even bothering to ask THEM what the situation might TRULY be? Should we just accept what others say... perhaps even those we KNOW have opposition, contention, or quarrel with the one(s) they accuse?
Or should we make attempts to get ALL sides and draw our conclusions from that... if indeed we even NEED to draw conclusions? Perhaps we shouldn't at all... because there is either not enough information available to us... or... we understand the command of our Lord, the HOLY One of Israel, JAHESHUA, the Chosen One of JAH (MischaJah) not judge anyone... or anything before it's time. But if we believe we NEED to draw a conclusion, should we do so based solely on the accusations of others?
And if we do so judge... but later find out we were in error... do we go to the one(s) wrongly judged and try to set the matter straight? Granted, that can be a difficult task... but do we allow ourselves the LOVE it takes to do so?
A good verse to consider when contemplating this, judging another... or thinking we "know" what's occurring with them... when perhaps we don't or at least not as much as do, is Proverb 18:13, which states:
One who answers to a matter before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish."
Since there is virtually always TWO sides to a story, listening to only one side... and then drawing a conclusion... may not be wise. Indeed, one can find themselves having judged a matter prematurely, perhaps even having to sue for peace and grant an apology later. If you've been a VICTIM of this, false accusations... with others not even bothering to ask YOU for clarification... then to turn around and do it to others... is hypocrisy, yes, and something we want to take care NOT to practice? Please know, of course, that I offer this truth NOT in an attempt to tell you what to do, but in the same spirit of love as Priscilla and Aquila offered to Apollos... so that you can make a choice should such situations arise in YOUR life... and so, just some things you might want to consider. Again, peace to you! Your servant, as I am servant to ALL those of the Household of God, Israel, and those who go with... and a doulos of Christ, SA