Question to re-instated ones or those who know them

by ItsMyLife 15 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  ItsMyLife

  Hi guys and gals

  I hope you're all enjoying your lives, whatever path you have chosen.

  I have a question for anyone who is currently re-instated, has previously been re-instated, or knows and is still in contact with a re-instated one.

  My question is this:

  Is the main reason for getting re-instated:

  a) Because you truly regret what you did and you wanted to repair your relationship with God and return to the congregation and be a JW because you believe it to be the truth

  or

  b) Because you found it extremely difficult to cope with being shunned by family and friends and therefore faked it to be able to have them in your lives again

  I am genuinely curious - this isn't a judgemental or trick question!

  I look forward to hopefully getting an answer or two please and thank you kind regards :-)
• 

  Lozhasleft

  Hello IML If I think about those I've known who've been reinstated, I couldn't say that any of them have been motivated by your No 1. Disfellowshipping damages trust completely, and prompts some searching for the legitimacy of the WTBS. Research opens up the fact that they are a false religion. The power of your No 2 can help many to close their eyes to the truth about the 'truth'.

  Loz x
• 

  Amelia Ashton

  Surely any-one being reinstated will always claim answer a as to claim answer b to any active JW would get you booted straight out again.
• 

  ItsMyLife

  Loz and Amelia Ashton, thank you for your responses. I completely agree with you, the answer given to active JW's will always be a), otherwise they'd never be allowed back in. However, what I want to know is whether a) is genuinely the answer, or if it is given because of b).

  Maybe I should have asked what the REAL reason was/is, rather than the MAIN :-)

  Just to make my 'status' clear - I am officially irregular, 3 more months till inactive, wishing I could DA but can't because of my family. I am in no way active and speak to very few JWs, and definitely not about anything more than the weather or general health. In case anyone was worried that I'm a 'spy' :-D

  All the best to you x
• 

  ItsMyLife

  Loz and Amelia Ashton, thank you for your responses. I completely agree with you, the answer given to active JW's will always be a), otherwise they'd never be allowed back in. However, what I want to know is whether a) is genuinely the answer, or if it is given because of b).

  Maybe I should have asked what the REAL reason was/is, rather than the MAIN :-)

  Just to make my 'status' clear - I am officially irregular, 3 more months till inactive, wishing I could DA but can't because of my family. I am in no way active and speak to very few JWs, and definitely not about anything more than the weather or general health. In case anyone was worried that I'm a 'spy' :-D

  All the best to you x
• 

  finally awake

  I know a couple of people who had been disfellowshipped and reinstated. One was reinstated years ago, before I ever became a dub. He appears to be a true believer. He was a ministerial servant, whole family is active and enthusiastic. They left the local hall several years ago to learn a foreign language and attend that congregation now. He said he was DFd for immorality in his late teens/early 20s.

  The other person was DFd while we were active dubs. I have no idea what he did to get the boot. There was no indication of immoral behavior, the only thing I can think of is that the local elders thought he shouldn't be pursuing a disability pension. He was severely diabetic and had enormous trouble trying to work. In the end, he got reinstated and then promptly quit attending meetings although he and his wife and son attended faithfully while he was DFd. I would say that none of them is really a true believer.
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  Pink sapphire

  My only purpose for getting reinstated was so my mum would feel better about openly having anything to do with me. As soon as I was reinstated, I stopped going. Can't say I was bothered about the shunning from witnesses, but it definitely bothered my mum me being df'd more than it did me.
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  sd-7

  Hmm. I can never be too sure about my wife, who was reinstated a few years back, but I'm thinking it's more 'b' than 'a'. Because if it was 'a', I'd see her a lot less than I do, and she'd be at meetings and out recruiting people all the time. I think it's clear she's got to do this to please her mom and she's using it as a crutch to keep her life in order than anything else.

  --sd-7
• 

  steve2

  Your worthy question presumes that the reinstated individual has such a level of self-awareness that they do not automatically fall back on the "correct" answer.

  In my family, at least 3 cousins have been reinstated in recent years. From my observations, none of them went back in because they believed it was the "Truth" and believed it was the right and honorable course to take. Utter rubbish! Rather, they were motivated by the desperate need to get their parents' approval and, in one case, wanted to secure their business with other JWs.
• 

  jgnat

  c. Return because you genuinely enjoy the lively literature, the opportunity to educate oneself, the hope of paradise, and your girlfriend is spiritual.

  Hubby is a convert, and most of his family aren't witnesses. He's somehow managed disfellowshipping, too. He just walked away the first time, and then simply walked back in. Elders don't know what to do with him. The mean ones gnash their teeth for sure.