by OneStepOut93 22 Replies latest jw friends
@ABiblestudent
My grandma (not the one I'm living with but my other grandma) disowned her son and daughter and don't speak to them at all because they aren't in the truth. And my momalready confirmed if one of us kids (I have 2 sisters) left the truth, she would not talk to us anymore or have anything to do with us. As well as my grandma (That I AM living with) said she would do the same. So even if I did fade and move out, they would find out eventually and shun me anyways. /:
@clarity
My boyfriend is wordly we have been together for almost 3 years now. He does however have a relative who is JW so he kind of has a view point of what I've gone through. He is the same as me when it comes to religion (spiritual but not religious). Please read my reply to ABiblestudent about the fading thing. :)
Bless your heart Lexi, how I feel for you those ugly duckling years, I so relate lol. Story after story I have read on jwsupport forums are the same, you can get treated so mean, all through the years especially if you are poor, single parents, classed as weak etc. you are not alone and your poor mum I hope her health improves.
It really is no fun having health problems in the 'Borg' I'm afraid i relate big time there too, so I do understand your mum soldiering on regardless and I am sure it was out of love for you that has kept her going with it all, when you so believe the org has the truth and you hang on their everyword, so be patient with her and hopefully you can help her wake up.
@BorgHater
I hope she does wake up, but she really is set in her ways so I HIGHLY doubt it..
@BorgHater
I hope she does wake up, but she really is set in her ways so I HIGHLY doubt it..
Hi Lexi, welcome. I also found the keys thing really cool - bet that drove your mum mad!
Glad to hear you've got a supporting bf who understands. I think lots of young JW's who have doubts or hate be a JW have no-one to share their thoughts with. So much effort is put into keeping kids away from any real friends in the world and ensuring they can only socialise with kids they have nothing in common with at the Kingdom hall who will grass them up to an adult at the first opportunity.
Some boring advice from me: You've been dealt a bad hand where your family is concerned. I'd also recommend trying to be in a position to support yourself - college or start a career if that is possible. I faded over a long time and built up my independence so I never had to rely on family again financially - because they will use any power they have to force you to come back to meetings. Open as many doors as you can now while you're young. Move in with your b/f if that's good for you but study or work for your future - you may have 50 years ahead of you in employment or looking after a family - so a few years investment now will make those later years a lot easier.
I went to college later on and started a career and after a decade have a great life that I'm in control of. Now I can call the shots where the family is concerned and they need me - I can dictate that they don't preach to me instead of them shunning me or trying to witness to me all the time.
You may not realise it but you've come a long way to be mentally out - that can be really hard for a lot of people. It is good to understand the mechanisms JW's use for control as your family will use these. It makes for a happier you and they are less able to hurt you.
Hope all goes well :-)
mmxiv
Welcome!
Hello and welcome to the forum!
Loz x
Hi Lexi!
Wow! I used to hide keys too! And not just keys- also money- one shoe in a pair of dress shoes-
Yes I used to hide all kinds of things to stall going. They would get so mad at me but I wasnt going to spill my secret!
Welcome here.
If your family does what they say they will, it is really going to hurt.
I am generally shunned by my JW family and it is very sad. I hope you can find happiness and independence and freedom as you get ready for the next phase of your life.
Welcome. My sister told me she still loves me but it will be different now that I left. I hate a religion or anyone that tells you how you should act, feel or love. I wanted to scream at her "THink for yourself!" but I didn't. She and her husband and my mom seem to be comfortable letting others do their thinking for em. I was there once so I can't cast stones.
Again welcome.
