I'm new here. I was raised 3rd generation dub. My dad is an elder as his dad was and my brother and the other brother is MS on the way to elderhood. I'm DF for 21 years when I was 20. The only credit I can give my parents is they're crazy would be whether they were Catholic, Buddist or atheist. My parents believed in coporal punishment and my brother and I got a beating on a daily basis.
Recently, my younger brother told me my dad had gotten called on the carpet by his fellow elders in the late 70's for his excessive use of force on his kids which he did at home and in the KH. At this time, the law and schools were getting involved if they thought there was abuse at home. Didn't help me or my older brother but at least my younger brother and sister weren't beat as much.
I was 5yo when I thought the religion was BS. My paternal grandma was Lutheran and the best, most wonderful person in the world. My parents told me she'd die at Armagadden. At school, there was only one other dub family and it seemed so condesending that only we'd survive and everyone else would die at Armagadden which, of course, was coming before I'd graduate high school so why do good in school. I was 7 or 8 and I said to my brother, wouldn't it be something if everyone survives except dubs at Armagedden.
I never believed in the religion but there was no alternative b/c of my dad's beatings. If you did question a dub doctrine, his response would be a punch in the head. Like an idiot, I got baptized at 13. I got DF's b/c I wasn't a virgin, smoked, drank, bars, etc... but most of all I asked to be DF'd b/c I had no commitment in something I didn't believe in. I did whatever while I was suppose to be shopping, working late, etc... I never cursed at my parents, stayed out all night, got arrested.
I get the major shunning. My parents kick me out that day, a Tuesday, and another elder tells my dad to give me to the end of the week. I couldn't stay with the worldly guy I was seeing. I'd found a place by Friday. So, I'm living my life and only 2 or 3 months ago, I'm talking to my younger brother.
My sibling and I are psychologically screwed up b/c of my parents and the religion. My younger brother just doesn't understand why I've had to do the things I've done. I was publicly reproved when I was 18. He's asking me why I confessed. I'm like I don't know. Our parents seem to know. He says, they'd had their doubts and they had our phone tapped. I lost it. I'm parent for 6 years. I can't imagine.
Somehow, I've had some stupid respect or was scared but I never investigated JWs. Right after my brother left, I did a search of anti-JWs.
Now comes the good part. I always felt I would be vindicated and justified someday if everyone knew that I had been molested by my real father, the elder. A very similar story to the girl's story in England that just came out. Imagine my surprise that this is rampant.
I've lurked on the boards for the past 2 months with a sense of being overwhelmed with all the information. My parents told us when we were kids that we were no good, blah, blah, blah. Since being DF'd its horrible.
I never could understand why anyone would want to be reinstated after they're shunned. Dubs are the biggest hypocrits and most unloving group. Yet, I got a memorial invite from my younger brother and grandmother.
Of course, there's more but thanks for all the information.
curlers
