by BlindersOff1 14 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
I suggest hire a monkey.
Since all elders do if you ask them for help
is tell a person to
Pray more
Study more
Go to meetings more
Go out in service more
The above could just be printed on a card
and the monkey could just go around the meeting
handing them out .
You see monkeys are just as qualified as
JW elders .
I like monkeys. I wouldn't do that to a monkey. It's just cruel.
You got that right!
Pray more
Study more
Go to meetings more
Go out in service more
Shockingly, that formula doesn't work. I tried it and just became more miserable.
it can do MORE ministry too!
I like monkeys. I wouldn't do that to a monkey. It's just cruel.
Eh, it's a better life than a monkeynaut in Iran.
http://news.yahoo.com/photos/iran-launches-monkey-space-says-photo-151413331.html
Poor monkeys..ANIMAL ABUSE!!
Being an elder is a thankless job.
Fortunately the WTS treats them like shit, and more are realizing this and quitting the job.
Young brothers realize there is really no benefit to becoming an elder (unless you are an ego-maniac or want to get your rocks off listening to young women confess their sexual sins) so they aren't reaching out.
Remember, the WTS thinks an elder is too stupid to call the police on his own, so they tell him to CALL LEGAL first.
Yeah, those are the high quality people you want running your local congregation.
I like your monkey idea. If the monkey carried the card saying:
Pray more
Study more
Go to meetings more
Go out in service more
...that would free up the elders to say:
Donate more (money)
Believe more (nonsense)
That's where they really want to go, but never get past the first 4.
