ALCHOLMES- I enjoyed reading your story ! Thanks for posting it. You are not alone my friend. I was a born-in JW as well, didn't exit until 2003 at age 44 . I was a Ministerial servant for 6 years in the 1980's and a regular pioneer for 3 years until I had my young children in the mid to late 1980's. It's true as you say that many of us had to be quiet for years about our doubts or we'd either be disowned by JW family or as in my case at the time disowned by my then fanatic JW wife. Of course, in 1998 the marriage ended after 19 years - but in 2006 I met a wonderful non-JW woman whom I've been happily married to since 2006.
The leaders of this WT organization are psychopathic, self absorbed narcissists who insist on keeping power and control over 7 million + JW's AND their financial resources. I'm glad you've come to find out in your research that it's just a great big scam . We were all duped, but can be thankful we each have our freedom of mind now and nobody is there to take that away from us if we don't allow them to ! Good luck to you, we are here for you as a support, O.K. ? Peace out, Mr. Flipper