Can some good come from abuse?

NoRegrets

I'm referring to abuse in all it's forms: emotional, physical, sexual, mental, spiritual, whatever.

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NoRegrets

Whoops, hit enter prematurely. I meant to go on and say that often times there are stories from members here who experienced some sort of maltreatment and it resulted in them getting out of the cult.

There seem to be a lot of former wives of abusive, domineering JW husbands on here that had enough and DAed themselves or got DFed intentionally to get out! Once out for what was supposed to be temporary, they realized being out was sublime! And they never went back!

For myself, I had been inactive for years but what pushed me out was witnessing the way my sister was being treated when she abruptly fell away. Especially what helped seal the deal was when my father starting being abusive to her in an effort to control her back into the org. It really backfired on him because it only scared her out further and ignited me to life in her defense!

Either way, to all of us here (we have all endured being victims in one way or another especially at the hands of an abusive cult!), here's to healing, moving on, and living a life free from abusers!

Have a happy weekend!

NR

jgnat

I'd rather learn the gentle way.

Rebuilding from abuse is sort of like carving a set of spoons from a smashed antique dresser.

NoRegrets

Good point. But sometimes it may take something traumatic to overcome years of brainwashing. (?)

Gopher

I guess you can take a lemon and make lemonade. Some people are more resilient than others - some can't seem to recover from mistreatment, while others though scarred do manage to be the embodiment of "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger".

Through sites like this we can reach out to those who we may be able to help, who are struggling, and also we can salute those who have shown resiliency and made it through.

jgnat

I might also suggest that a sudden revelation that life could be better can be the way out.

A good friend has related tid-bits of her horrific childhood. I wondered out loud how she managed to rise above it all to make a better life for herself. She credited a few teachers and the librarian. They were enough of a model for carving out a better life.

I was raised in a comfortable middle-class home, though my mom exhibited the first signs of mental illness in my early teens. I spiralled through denial and hooked up with a violent man. Very quickly my living conditions deteriorated. At some point we were walking through a suburban neighbourhood, and I marvelled at the green, green grass, the well-tended flowers. All of a sudden I recalled that I was raised in a home just like these. It was the beginning of my awakening.

Dismissing servant

So you can look at it as an eye-opener? A bit cynical, but maybe you are in to something?

I think a lot of women had learned TTATT the hard way.

I don't know, but maybe more peaple leave the Borg after some injustice/maltreatment then disagreeing with the dogma. Maybe a person that has been maltreated is more motivated to question the dogma? A person who likes the life as JW don't normally dare to think independently.

Gopher

: maybe more peaple leave the Borg after some injustice/maltreatment then disagreeing with the dogma.

I think what Dismissing Servant says is true. After all, the JW's claim to be the home of true love and the world's only spiritual paradise. Although many people in the JW organization are nice, when you find out through personal experience that it's a men's club full of favoritism with plenty of strife, you can really start to question why you're even there.

NoRegrets

That's exactly the point I was driving at. Not that abuse is a good thing by any means, but that sometimes a traumatic event can be an eye opener. My sister was a very active JW, but when she and her husband seperated rather suddenly, she immediately stopped going to meetings. It was like it took her life being turned upside down for her eyes to open. For me, it was seeing how quickly everyone turned on her to help push me out. Even though we had been inactive for many years, my mind never understood that you just can't leave! It also opened my eyes when my father started treating her terribly like he had when we were children! I couldn't fathom treating someone so awfully as a strategy to win them over! (He literally in one instance chased her out of the house screaming at and threatening her. She had to run out with no shoes!) I also couldn't allow him to treat her and I as he did when we were helpless children. Had he not treated her that way there might have been a different outcome. You just never know! NR

perfect1

I see your point but find your phrasing slightly offensive.

It seems you would like the reader to conclude, yes, some good does come abuse. That leads to some uncomfortable logical outcomes- for example- abuse can be good.

YUCK!

Can some good come from abuse?

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