I NEED HELP! (page 2)

NeverKnew

Can't you say that your Irritable Bowel Syndrome keeps acting up?

I just flat out told my COBE (PO in old speak) that I was doing research into my religion and trying to reprove I had the truth to myself ..and that until that process was complete then I wouldnt be going in FS (but i was going to meetings at the time).

Worked like a charm and the elders have left me alone and I havent been to a meeting in 2 years.

Mum

Tell him you're ill. Then move to another state.

Regards,

SandraC

tornapart

If he's a friend then you should be able to just say you've been feeling very down just recently and don't feel up to going in the FS. Thank him for his concern and tell him you're just trying to work things through.

whathappened

Tell him "I am taking the matter to Jehovah in prayer and will get back with you." Keep telling him this till he gives up. He will give up and pursue easier prey.

Do not give in. He is a mid management cult leader. I know you have feelings for him, but he may turn on you like a rattlesnake and the bite could be fatal. You will get df'd and your fade will be a fail.

nugget

You have two choices either ignore the message or respond.

A simple text saying thank you for thinking of me but I am not able to go out this weekend but will call you if I need you. This is a stalling non threatening message that gives you breathing space.

However you do not owe them or need to be controled by them. How you chose to respond relates directly to what you want to accomplish. If you wish to remain non threatening and fading then you have to live as a JW would live minus meetings and service and not appear to question the society. If your reasons for non attendance are personal weaknesses e.g. working too hard or medical condition then that is ok. If your reason for non attendance is non belief and you admit it then that is the death knell for your fade.

with witnesses try to avoid probing conversations. If you are caught by surprise always have a strategy to force the conversation to be kept short either an appointment or somewhere else to be or illness the more contageous the better. focus on what you can say rather than what you can't. E.g.

Thank you for your concern, I am sorry that now is not a good time to talk, I am dealing with personal stuff right now, I know where you are and will certainly contact you if you can help.

Fading is an art and a lot harder than people imagine since JWs are natural snoops and able to pick up any nuance that shows that someone is not on message. Be careful.

justmom

Dear nolongerconfused

I understand your fear and truly not wanting confrontation as they are truly unloving scary wolves in sheeps clothing when it comes to installing fear and guilt to its members.

They usually never handle questioning individuals in a very loving way.

You of course may do exactly what you want to do as it is up to you and your decision my friend...

But something that may someday, sometime when we least expect it may be a seed planted to someone that may be used as an instrument in freeing them from this terrible cult and seeing it for what it truly is as you and so many of us here have come to see is this...

They taught us to be fearless and proud of what we believed in. To not be ashamed of the so-called truth. Not to let outsiders influence our determination to serve Jehovah. Blah blah bah.....

Now we have been lied to, deceived, and misled by false prophets and Christs that call themselves the truth. They have changed every doctrine and called it new light no longer following it's teachings that supposedly identified them as the truth back in Russell / Rutherford days.

You do not need to fear them anymore! You can pray for the strength to stand up for what has been revealed to you that shows them up to be false.

They may expel you for disagreeing....SO what! Nothing they didnt already do to our lord and those that followed him. And aren't we told a slave is not greater than his master?

You have a choice. You may do what ever you want. We will be here if need be whatever you choose.

Lots of love

Justmom

OnTheWayOut

Fades rarely work with friends. Typically, they are lost. Elders don't typically remain friends but turn to comforters that wind up just as bad as Job's comforters.

Fades are mainly for retaining relationships with relatives.

That said, you don't have to try to soften anything with this elder and you don't have to deal with him at all. My advice is to just not answer his texts.

Either that or give a canned text answer: Thanks for your concern, I am fine, very busy now.

I NEED HELP!