Even though I know there is no such thing as confidentality in the KH it should be. As a social worker I can lose my license to practice with just one breach. Also if I am made aware of abuse of any kind or of possible suicidal behavior, even second hand, in Michigan, I most certainly will lose my license if I do not report it within a 24 hour period. The same is true with teachers, doctors and many other professions. Now even though an elder does not have a license to lose, he is still liable and can be sued for failing to maintain confidentality and for failure to warn/protect.
My BIL became an elder 5 years after my husband and I DA ourselves. Our eldest son was 12 when the new flegling elder BIL started to voice to our son that I was a wicked mother and told my son some things in my past I am not too proud of. After I threaten to sue the KH and the WBTS he was quickly removed as an elder which established guilt and then I did take them to court, but settled out of court for an amount I can not disclose.
So do not think you are at the mercy of the elders, or that you have no legal recourse. As the judge stated in my case, anyone who accepts a position of responsibility, paid or not, is expected to understand the consequences if they fail to meet these very basic values.