Whilst I like the creativity of folks here, I think I have to warn ya... sending things through the U.S. Mail puts some of these ideas into a different category. You may get yourself into trouble with the U.S Postal system. I don't know about othe countries, so if the poster above is in a different country - they may need to check on local laws regarding what someone may consider mail 'fraud'.
We now return you to your regular program...