I have a question, how did you maintain communication? One of my kids runs hot and cold, sometimes we talk, other times he won't respond at all. With the other I have nothing, haven't for years.
I'd love to "drop seeds" as you say, but don't know how when I can't communicate.
My communication with the kids was limited to a visit once each two weeks. And it was very often for only a day. The ex had managed to manipulate access visits to bugger all time. There was no mobile phones for a long time. It was real tough at times wondering if they were even thinking about me inbetween visits even. and when they did come with a mobile phone, it was their mothers spare and i was forbidden to even know the number.
Once the boy had his drivers licence i saw him maybe every 3 weeks for a day. By that time i had secured 2 days each 2 weeks with the daughter though. I felt i had lost the boy to the JWs at that time.
I remember each time i saw them i was on edge as i so desperatlry wanted to talk to them, to get into thier heads, it was easier with my daughter. My son tended to close off, at times he would say that he knows now (before baptism) is the time to question but he just does not want to.
He went through a fair bit of therapy that blamed all his problems on me. he did blame me for all his unhappiness at that time too, so that was tough to swallow.
Still, i didn't stop dropping hints about the JWs and asking little questions anyway. I also think that his step father and his mother did a great job of driving the kids away from them and the JWs. He started to get into trouble with the JWs for having worldly girlfriend and getting drunk, how they they treated him repelled him from them more, he saw plenty of hypocrasy around him.
all i did was the best with the time i had...and sometimes i just avoided talking about the JWs at all in case they got jacked off that everytime they came to visit it became an anti JW session and not about fun.
At the end of the day, all you can do is carefully use the time you do get and rely on the fact that the WT manages to retain fewer of its young ones than ever before to help you...
Oz
