Dazed But Not Confused>>>>>Wow. Thank you for being genuinely honest and saying exactly how you feel. "I didn't like service, and I had no desire or heart to preach".
I have given this some thought, thinking of the sweet, honest hearted ones, that found speaking up to strangers, excruciatingly painful. When The Watch Tower Society tells them they must do this or else God won't love them and they will die at Armageddon...that is called abuse.
Dazed, I am not saying Service ( tm ) was excruciatingly painful for you, I don't know you, but I am saying that this is how a Bully, overpowers and makes someone do something against their will, and once that happens, a little chip of self esteem, falls to the ground, and they become a Victim. They have just been victimized.
Just Lois