For some reason...I see the "NO TRESSPASSING" sign of the FUTURE:
****WARNING! NO TRESSPASSING! WARNING!****
This property is open to tresspass to all, EXCEPT:
(1)Members, Followers, Associates, Associate of Assocites, Baptized, Non-Baptized associates, Publishers, Pioneers, Presiding Overseers, Circuit Overseers, District Overseers, Judicial Comitee Members, Elders, or anyone else who has any contact or affiliation with the Watch Tower Bible Tract Society, Or any Congregation affiliated with the Watch Tower Bible Tract Society. The above mentioned party or parties applies to anyone who is an associate, contact, and/or is affiliated with Jehovah Witnesses.
(2)In lieu of (insert Local,State, and Federal Private Property Law Ordinance numbers here), I will view your physical presence and tresspass on my property as a justifiable threat to my well being and safety(physical and/or mental), the residents of this property's well being and safey(physical and/or mental), any guests on said property well being and safety(physical and/or mental).
(3)Should the above mentioned of paragraph (1), choose to ignore the above warning in paragraph (2) and tresspass upon this PRIVATE PROPERTY. I am empowered and have the RIGHT in leu of (insert Local,State,Federal Law ordinance here) to take any necessary steps to protect my PRIVATE PROPERTY, Or Persons on said PRIVATE PROPERTY. Should the above mentioned of paragraph (1), choose to ignore the above warning in paragraph (2) and tresspass upon this PRIVATE PROPERTY, also are personally responsible for their disregard and agree that physical harm can come upon them, once upon the PRIVATE PROPERTY.
(4)These steps include but not necessarily by all means:
A) To notify the proper authorities to have you physically removed.
B) Use any object within said Property being trespassed, including: Bats, Guns, Knives, Machettes, Chainsaws, Automobiles, Hair Spray, Mace, (etc. list all you want) to defend said PRIVATE PROPERTY. Which will cause you PHYSICAL HARM, in which should you disregard this entitled WARNING, you (the tresspasser) take full responsibility for any and all MEDICAL TREATMENT costs and/or billing sought for injuries procured on said PRIVATE PROPERTY.
(5) You have been WARNED.
D8TA