Once again, WTS reminds you that you are a *bleeping* idiot

by LostGeneration 24 Replies latest watchtower bible

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  LostGeneration

  Gems from the latest KM on how to behave at the 2013 DCs....

  If possible, care for restroom needs before the start of the session. Turn off your cell phone so that you will not be distracted by calls or texts or be tempted to text others during the program. If you must have your phone on, put it on a setting that will not distract others in the event that someone calls. If you use an electronic tablet during the program, do so in away that is not distracting to others. Avoid eating or drinking during the program. (Eccl. 3:1) Keep your eyes focused on the speaker. When a scripture is read, follow along in your Bible. Take brief notes.

  5 After the Program Concludes Each Day: Do not stay out late. Go to bed early enough to get sufficient rest. Reviewing what you heard will help you to remember it longer. Therefore, it would be beneficial to take a few minutes to discuss the program as a family each evening. If you go to a restaurant with friends, why not take your notes along and share a point or two that you especially enjoyed? When you return home after the convention, you might spend some time during your Family Worship evening discussing how you can apply the information as a family. You could also set aside time each week to review a portion of any new releases.
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  LostGeneration

  So lets review....

  Take a shit before the session. Because you know, you have control over that. I mean, c'mon, take some ex-lax or something real early in the day so that you can take your dump before the DO gets up there and praises the slave over and over.

  And that cell phone. Such a temptation. Its like Satan himself invented the thing. Just shut it off.

  And that Tablet, we know you aren't using it for notes....you are reading a book or playing a game aren't you? OK, just don't let anyone else see, because they might get the idea that they could buy one too, and waste time at the DC just like you.

  And eating or drinking during the program? What kind of dipshit are you? Don't you know that God's appointed representative, the Faithful Slave, is dispensing spiritual nourishment here? Why the fuck do you need a Kit Kat bar or a drink of water at such an important moment in history?

  And look up the scriptures when we say so...I mean don't you know that Matthew 24:45 and Hebrews 10:23 are the most important things to read, even if you have already read them 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 times already....
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  glenster

  I don't pick on the followers, but regarding the invigoration of the leaders'
  regimentation:
  Bethel dorm version
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=62GNm4m7xRs
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  Tiktaalik

  I think the wts is taking this whole "we are your mother" thing way too far.
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  LostGeneration

  Seriously, the first point is the most offensive of them all.

  They are now telling you when to take care of your bodily functions. Oh, they did say "if possible" so I guess they are off the hook...

  F'n cult!
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  irondork

  These considerate reminders from the governing body are provided because they

  
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  designs

  Be sure and wipe and wash your hands after using the bathroom. Thanks Mom
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  GoneAwol

  "do not stay out late" Got a curfew now have we? Which scripture is that command from?
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  OnTheWayOut

  If you go to a restaurant with friends, why not take your notes along and share a point or two that you especially enjoyed?

  Why enjoy yourselves like normal people? This is probably the only thing even close to a vacation for many of you, but if you can make a game of it, see if the people you eat with were even paying attention at the convention- ask them a point or two.

  I can see the future of this micromanagement of the flock- bring your own toilet paper and towel, take all your trash from lunch back to your hotel, for assemblies in WT facilities bring your own flashlight as the lights are on minimum, here are instructions on how to use your credit card to make your donations.
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  zeb

  What would the wts say is the waking time for working JW.

  I start work at 0645. what time do those in bethel/s get up? and of course do not have to get school lunches ready drive to work all the things us normal folks have to do.