I ran into an inactive JW at the store we talked for 20 minutes

RayPublisher

I ran into an inactive JW at a department store last night and we talked for 20 minutes easily, it was actually pretty fruitful. So here's what happened:

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I see him and recognized him but he didn't know who I was at first as he hasn't seen me in at least a year and I've lost weight, have a goatee and dress way more awesome than I ever did as a Dubb Schlubb.

So I said hi to him by name and he says, who are you I'm not sure? And when I tell him he smiles really big and says what's been going on with you? You look great you've lost weight what's your secret? Well I used a joke and said, "Oh the divorce diet works wonders!" He frowns says he's sorry, and then in a sincere way says, "What happened? Why would you guys break up you've been together for so long?"

Now this fellow is really laid back, non-judgemental, not a hypocritical-type of JW at all. He's been an occasional meeting attender for several years but his wife and mother and father are regulars. I told him the truth, that I had doubts and questions about what I saw all the years I'd been an elder and knew that something wasn't right. I related to him that when I told my wife what I had learned she started calling me the "A" word and then she secretly got a lawyer and kicked me out and started legal proceedings against me and accused me falsely of being violent so the law would be on her side.

He was shocked of course, and the conversation went on and he tried to encourage me and I let him talk for quite a while about how Jee-hovah wants me to come back to him, etc. I could tell he meant well. But he did bring up how when he was a boy his parents told him he would never get out of school before Armageddon came and how even in 1914 they thought they were all going to heaven. Just then his wife shows up. She looks really uncomfortable (she knows at least some of the rumor stories about me at my former KH and that I'm no longer a JW), and says to him, "I've gotta go to another aisle I'll be back." He says, "No, no, stay and talk with Eric he's right here, say hello."

So she mumbles a hi stands next to him mostly looking down as he continues to talk to me. After several more minutes of speaking positively to him about how I pray every day and read the Bible and such she chimes in and says that's good that I still do that. Then the conversation ends with us shaking hands and smiling and saying see you later.

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To me it supports my theory that more and more of the Gen-X Witnesses that are hitting middle age now are seeing that the extreme shunning is not necessary, and is a really bigoted way to live. On the plus side for me, I was calm and didn't even feel a twinge of fear/guilt/etc. like in the early days of me getting out of the cult.

Anyway, thanks for listening, just thought I would share this!

BlindersOff1

Nice to hear it went well . Thanks for sharing .Your website is great and I'm wearing my TTATT bracelet all the time .

steve2

Hey Ray - a nicely composed account. You sound like a considerate and thoughtful man.

I think you're right about those who were raised in the religion who don't so much have overt, energized doubts but more low-level musings and misgivings about what their own parents told them about 1914.

In the late 1960s, my dear JW mother firmly told me it would not be worth getting a career because the end was just around the corner. She pointed to the generation who were alive in 1914 being almost passed and the then teachings about 1975. What she said made fear-inducing sense; I really believed the end was within a few short years. The sad realization is that, even at that time of more than forty-five years ago, previous generations raised in the religion had also been told as children the end was imminent. Sadder but wiser, my friend.

The more I am reading posts on this forum, the more convinced I am that those who have misgivings about the organization constitute a vast number - even though they may seldom transform those misgivings into overt action, their desire to be an active part of the organization is low if not non-existent. Hence in many countries, the stagnation of growth among the JWs is plainly evident.

Thanks again for your post.

BU2B

Nice to hear what happened, maybe it will plant some seeds. Most important they are not obeying the directive not to speak to ex-witnesses. Also glad to hear how calm you felt, it had to be a great feeling, and thanks again for Jwstruggle.com It has been and continues to be so encouaging to me