I am new here and this is my first post although I have lurked here for a couple years. I started having doubts about the org back then and my curiosity overcame my fear of so-called apostate websites so here I am. I just resigned being an elder 2 weeks ago. The letter hasn't come back yet but I can't log in to the elder portion of the jw website so I think it's official. The burden was getting too great along with my doubts. I am a 31 year old born-in with a wife and a 9 month old baby. I am going to try to start fading and hopefully my wife will join me. I have already started expressing my doubts to her and she agrees with a lot of what I see wrong in the org. But, she likes the social part of it so breaking free will take some time. I have already read Crisis of Conscience and am currently reading In Search of Christian Freedom. They were eye opening and confirmed a number of things I suspected. I have talked to my dad, who is inactive along with my mom although they go to Sunday meetings, about stepping down and also about my doubts and he had many of the same concerns as I did. He remembers being told that his children wouldn't even have to go to school but now I have a family of my own and he has granchildren. This org. has told so many lies and used up and wasted peoples lives. I have already stopped giving donations for the last 2 years and mentally I'm out and I hope to be physically out eventually. So, that's a little about me and my experience.
Resigned being an elder
by subytrek 86 Replies latest jw friends
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cptkirk
As you probably know from reading this board you are not the first nor anything close to being the last. This organization will answer for its abuses and hypocrisy. I don't enjoy taking this stance either.
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cobaltcupcake
Welcome Subytrek!
There's an elders' section of the JW.org website? What sort of secrets does it hold that can't be shared with the R&F?
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St George of England
He remembers being told that his children wouldn't even have to go to school but now I have a family of my own and he has granchildren.
That's what they said about me, never go to school in this old system. I'm heading up to 70 now.
Welcome from George
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tec
Welcome, Subytrek
Peace,
tammy
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Mum
Congratulations! To paraphrase Neil Sedaka, Waking up is hard to do. But you've done it.
It's great to be free to make one's own mistakes and take responsibility for oneself, and letting go of "The Devil made me do it" mentality.
Welcome! We need thinking "insiders" here.
Regards,
SandraC
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pixel
Yes there is. There put letters, forms from the branch, and the KM in advance. I thought you knew.
EDIT: Welcome!
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Quirky1
Welcome Subytrek!!
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Gayle
Thrilled for you!! Seems you are doing things the best way for you both..
About the "social need" for your wife. I see that often on this site. What else does she like to do? Dance, a sport, a hobby, classes of something? Any such groups for you both to do and meet others? Anyway, keeping a respectful, loving relationship matters most. Maybe you could ask her about things raising your child in the future: education, sports, positive simple endeavors for your child?
The thought like your dad's profound comment: He remembers being told that his children wouldn't even have to go to school but now I have a family of my own and he has granchildren. What does she think about that?
So many best wishes to you and your family as you all learn freedom of your minds and hearts together!
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steve2
Hello subytrek (great name!). You sound like you've thought matters through really carefully and have the awareness to know who you can talk to about your concerns (your wife and your parents). Ray Franz's books are a tonic for doubting souls such as yourself.
I wish you well in the time ahead. I cannot imagine you doing anything impulsive and thoughtlessly so the likelihood of minimizing "damage" is high. Yep, it is amazing how frequently those with doubts find others in the same congregation and even closer to home who have the very same doubts but who have perhaps been too unsure of themselves or scared to talk about them. Your parents sound very supportive, as does your wife.
I always say to people on the verge of leaving and/or fading, "go about things very gently". I worry when posters come on to this forum and declare all the "great" exposure work against the organization they intend to do. You are so not like that! Phew!
There is absolutely no rush, no emergency. Living as witnesses, we were inclined to automatically react as if everything were an emergency and really urgent. This kind of emergency-based mentality is great for keeping people trapped and running around in useless circles.
When you begin to see that the organization is not what it claims to be, you are freed from the need to panic and you can more thoughtfully consider your next steps. I recommend learning how to breath deeply and easily as one of the most important steps in preparing to leave because panicked states tend to be maintained by shallow, quick breaths .