Wow, so amazing Elizabeth.
Your courage is admirable. Living a lie can be toxic. I hope all you wish for out of this comes true.
I'm turning myself in. Lurking elders, are you listening?
by Eve Deceived 64 Replies latest jw experiences
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00DAD
Welcome Elizabeth B!
Awesome first post.
Here's another thread that may be of interest to those in your target audience:
A Message to Active Elders Lurking on JWN
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Mum
Hi, Elizabeth. Welcome! I visited Kauai some years back. It is a beautiful island. How lucky you are to live in such a paradise!
Your first post may be the Best First Post Ever. There should be an award for that.
Welcome to freedom. Say good-bye to the Thought Police.
Regards
SandraC
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El_Guapo
It's early, but this gets my vote for post of the year!
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Quendi
Welcome to the board and the community! I admire your courage and determination to take this cult on directly. You’ll find friends here and I’m sure you’ll make some valuable contributions to our discussions.
Quendi
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MadameSweden
I visited your beautiful island in 1980. I wish you the best on your way out from the Borg.
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tootired2care
I want to be rid of all relationships in my life that are conditional/judgemental (ie: toxic), including my family. I have no need for these relationships and they are damaging. I want to and need to be done with the org. and these toxic relationships for good. Honestly, for me, there are no redeemable relationships with my family members or what I considered to be close friends in the org. Also, I do not want to keep living a lie or not being true to myself...to be anything but authentic is really hard on me mentally and emotionally.
Elizabeth B, this is very well said! I shared this with my wife today and it brought a big smile to both of our faces. I cannot tell you how refreshing it is what your doing. Lately we've been agonizing over family relasionships and how they will take it when we tell them. Lately I've been feeling the same way about all of this. Perhaps it is better to just blow the bridge and start fresh. I just despise how this organization creates such a stinky environment for its members and family ties with those that see things differently. Congrats on your freedom!
p.s. Please let us know how this turns out.
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problemaddict
Hey elizabeth. A pretty prominent elder on Kauai went to the dark side several years ago. Vinny i believe was his name. He defected over the blood doctrine. You might want to look him up.
Take it easy on your family.....they are subject to a high control group and don't even know it.
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Eve Deceived
Wow! Just want to thank you all for your kind words and well wishes. Words can't accurately express my appreciation, but please know they are so appreciated!
@Black Sheep: haha...as it turns out, I wish for balls of steel every day. I need them with my um...candidness and honesty. I tend to fire at will and take no prisoners.
@jeremiah 18:5-10 and moshe: you both pretty much summed up how I feel.
@Sophie G: I'm sorta at a loss myself as to what would wake people up. I wish I could be different, but I just don't have the patience to gradually wake people up to the TTATT nor the stomach for faking it to help people out. I think this is truly admirable and wish I could do that myself. But as you can probably tell already, I'm just not that type of personality.
@Tater-T: replied to your pm
@haboob48: hmmm...I'm not very witty or articulate, so initally I did not want to to tape and share my JC for all to see me fumble my way through it, but we'll see. I'm starting to seriously consider it now. I was sorta planning on da'ing before they could df me, as my last sort of eff you (you can't fire me; I quit sort of thing) but I'm reconsidering that now.
I have an idea for my DA letter (if I don't go the JC route). I will post a scan of my DA letter soon for entertainment purposes. I'm attempting to illustrate the absurd with the absurd by being silly in an attempt to show how silly this cult really is.
@soldier77: my hubby and I have only lived here for two years, so we probably missed each other. =( My hubby and I are originally from So Cal.
Speaking of: my hubby and I always followed the society's rules and didn't ever make outside "worldy" friends, so if anyone is here on Kauai, let me know. I could use some friends since I will lose all mine. Since I've been fading, I don't have any anyway. Also, I am planning on being in Southern Cali mid-March, so if anyone is there that wants to meet up, I'm game. I am willing to drive wherever: LA, OC, IE, San Diego... Let me know. Does that sound desperate?
@wifeyWHisme1970: I think of escaping the island every day. Where are you at? You can pm if you'd like.
@insearchoftruth4: pm'ed you.
@honesty: your story is plain awesomness.
@ruderedhead: I'm a natural blonde, but red hair is my absolute favorite...you have no idea how much I wish I was a redhead.
@DNCall: It's Kapa'a. I don't know how to do the 'okina (backwards apostrophe) symbols on my keyboard. =(
@00DAD: I happened to read your thread before I posted mine...it gave me the inspiration.
@Mum and El Guapo: If I get an award for best first post, I promise I will give a speech. Thank you for the nominations.
@tootired2care: I appreciate your kind words. I was just so tired of agnozing over my relationships w/family and friends. I feel you and your wife's pain. I finally realized that me being df'ed or da'ed, whichever, will work in my favor toward cutting off damaging relationships and the blame will be squarely on my family (not me) for the break. I will not be the bad guy anymore to onlookers, society at large, and extended non-jw family. This will look so incredibly BAD to onlookers, don't you think? "What? your family doesn't speak to you any more because you wouldn't share their same beliefs? Wow! That is just so wrong...so taliban-like." Blame for the breakup of families is placed on the cult and my family members where it belongs. I think that's enough to make this cult look really, really bad. I'm not sure if I can advocate my stance since everyone and situation is different, but it works for me.
@problemaddict: I would love to get in touch with Vinny...not sure how. I will pm you. Also, my family has just done some awful things to me and have treated me very badly while I was an active member in good standing. Our "issues" are not just cult related, but the cult doesn't help, that's for sure. I don't want to be angry with them anymore, that is why I'm effectively cutting off ties. This way I can heal with the "distance" and not hate them as that kind of deep hurt is bleeding my soul. I don't really want to get into the issues and explain them right now cuz the wound is still a bit raw. They will NEVER accept me/love me/appreciate me for who I am and I am a genuinely good person who has never done anything to deserve their unkindness and judgement. What I'm doing here is my way at showing my family?, myself?...I'm not entirely sure...that I ACCEPT that, and I am choosing for myself that I'm done with that. I am finally loving myself enough to not allow them a way in to hurt me anymore. I don't want to stay stuck in my painful past; I just want to move forward and enjoy life now. I understand, though, what you mean about not being too harsh w/family. I realize this kind of thing isn't the solution for everybody. It is for me.
UPDATE for all: I have not heard a word yet. =( The day is young here in hawaii, so there is still time. I will keep everyone POSTED, I promise.