The more I read on this board, the more it makes me wonder how on earth I managed to escape the JW's without being DF'D.
I was baptized in 1990 aged 15. I was DF'd in 1991 and was reinstated after only 2 months 'out' and a further 3 months of returning to the meetings.
Two years after being reinstated, I knew I wanted out but couldn't bear the thought of being DF'd again. So I found a flat to rent and moved out of my JW parents home. From that day I never went to another meeting (expect 1 memorial and one day at the July convention the following year which was just 'for a laugh')
I kept a low profile, didn't associate with any JW's other than my parents. I didn't even see them that often because they would just go on about me getting to the meetings etc. After a couple of months I think they realised I wasn't going back.
I soon met someone, now my partner of 7 years. I fell pregnant. This was about 9 months after my last meeting. I delayed telling my parents for as long as I could but eventually my condition was getting just a bit obvious!
My (elder) father offered to pay for a shotgun wedding there and then. I refused, as I didn't feel it was a basis to get married. The other elders were informed. A conversation ensued between my dad and the PO. My dad argued that because I no longer associated with any JW's other than them, by being DF'd, all it would acheive is to ruin my relationship with my mum and dad. The PO AGREED and I wasn't DF'd. To this day I am still unmarried, still living with my partner and have 2 children.
I have an excellent relationship with my parents, and my children also have a great relationship with them. They babysit for me and we go out for daytrips quite often. There is absolutely no limits on my association with them.
Everyone that knew me in my ex-cong know my situation. Alot will stop and talk to me, ask about my partner and children. Some will even jokingly ask 'isn't it about time you two got married?!?' There are very few JW's that will not acknowledge me.
I feel like I must be the exception to the rule here. From what I have read even some are DF'd on mere speculation. So how on earth did I get away with it???
We all make a mess of our lives from time to time
It's part of the process that you stumble as you climb