It's flip of the coin for me. What scares me about atheism, is its political implications.
Where it seems some have suspended judgement, I have moved on to a hypothesis in which to measure my existence. I feel that I can just as logically choose a consious infinity over an unconscious infinity since neither one is demonstratable. For me, it is far more useful as a tool for human development and quality of life to have an exterior model as opposed to a subjective context to develop and arrange meaning through my experiences in life.
However, experiential meaning alone cannot capture the true genius of the human spirit and its magical-like ability to create where nothing should be creatable.
Perhaps man has created God. If so, man has wisely seen fit to place the sacred symbolic objects of life outside of himself for safekeeping.
Our symbolic vehicles for creating meaning like family, love, honesty, altruism, (the man on 9/11 who said, "let's roll")selfless bonding in friendship, are all free from distortion and manipulation if the construct for its source is outside of us and lives within God...a conscious infinity.
A big part of my personal victory over the WBTS was to not let them destroy or taint my free will. It would have been easy to become cynical and distrustful of any unknown and run toward exetentialism as a hideout from the ideology evangelists and manipulators.
After several years of simply withholding judgement, I realized any thought construct will be used as marketing for larger world views. At some point it was time to make a decision and come to some conclusion and worldview for myself. I chose Christianity. Not in a typical religious sense, but more from a Skinnerian model.
I often question if I've done this out of rebellion to the shackles of the Tower. I honestly don't believe that I have, but rather truly believe the teachings of Christ are ideas that, while never achievable in a perfect sense, work well with our goal seeking mental organizational nature to satisfy our need to create, transform, and experience meaningful psychological anchors.
I do not trust these processes in the hands of any human or group of humans and feel they are best preserved in the nature of God regardless if real or imagined.