Big Round Up Going On At Bethel Brother Stefan Letts Leads The Team, Effort To Eradicate From Bethel Any Possible Demonized Objects

by frankiespeakin 10 Replies latest jw friends

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  frankiespeakin

  Well it's true I just got off the phone with Johnny the Bethelite and here's the story(syke):

  It seem the Brother Letts was feeling kind of funny these days and has been hearing voices of the devil saying I'm gonna "get you" over and over again, so he's taken the matter up with Jehovah in prayer, and now Jehovah is saying conduct a search for any Sparlock looking toys so the rest of the Governing Body at their weekly meeting decided to commission Lett to take the lead since Jehovah spoke to him, he should follow through.

  So far they have collected 12 smurfs(one has to wounder how they ever got there?). They found a Sparlock like looking doll over at childrens animation department, probably just model use for animation making,, but it was enough to have the whole department up before a fact finding committee.

  Letts gave the morning talk the day after, that turned into a 3 hour lecture on the evils of Idolatry, and lying, and keeping things from the Governing Body in this matter of the 12 smurffs and at the end he said we will have to wait and see what the fact finding committee finds out about sparlock the warrior wizard. Lett seems to think there is a conspiracy and that he needs to get to the bottom of this, the fact finding committee will be only Governing Body members as they feel the rank and file are just too stupid to handle this important matter.

  That's all for now thank you Johnny for giving us an inside look at recent developments.
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  cantleave

  I thought Johnny was.....

  
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  designs

  Some Bethelites in the 70s must have hidden some Anthrax Heavy Metal albums in the walls.
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  baltar447

  WTF?
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  frankiespeakin

  More from Johnny the Bethelite:

  Brother Lett in his lecture said that he was getting a suspicious feeling that something was wrong at bethel and it wasn't till Jehovah gave him the dream about demonized toy pissing Jehovah off the toliet seat, did he realize that this causing him to withdraw his blessing on the Corporation by bringing membership loss and a big dip in donations that he finally understood what Jehovah wanted him to do.

  He feels this purge of smurfs should do the trick especially after the guilty parties are all disfellowshipped to keep the congregation clean. And so he will be closely watching the donation arangement to see if Jehovah's spirit is comming back which will take a few months or maybe years according to the way he reckons.
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  Sulla

  Actually, when I was there, I was in the habit of making signs to put on our bindery line. "Meat is murder," and so on; that sort of nonsense. Anyhow, my room mate heard I got in some trouble for "making signs." He refused to sleep in our room for weeks, thinking I was making some sort of Satanic signs -- goat heads or whatever.

  On the other hand, he was exceptionally dim. Heart as big as the entire outdoors, but not one brain in his poor head.
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  leaving_quietly

  *** post deleted by leaving_quietly because I fell for it hook, line and sinker ***

  (p.s. shoulda' posted this in Humor)
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  jgnat

  Baltar, Johnny the Bethelite is an inside, inside joke.

  http://www.jwstruggle.com/2011/02/johnny-the-bethelite/
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  leaving_quietly

  *** this post also deleted by leaving_quietly ***

  Good one, frankenspeakin!
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  Satanus

  Likely, the smurfs are up on the roof, and they rappelle down and enter through the windows, when everyone is sleeping.

  The gb should commision some electronics geek to invent a demon meter. Like the scientologists emeter, only it reacts to demon scents. They could do annual sweeps of the entire bethel to discover infiltrated smurfs and of course any bethelite that masturbates excessively. Everyone knows that that attracts those disgusting demons.

  Thanks be bro lett to keep bethel clean.

  S