Email "Hey Mr. X, We Had A Elder Read A Spoof Story From The Platform!" ROFLMAO!

by ÁrbolesdeArabia 15 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  ÁrbolesdeArabia

  Did you ever have elders forget to due their due diligence and read fake stories from the platform? I got a great email I need to format about several stupid elders and ministerial servants who read spoof JW Urban Legends from the platform. Big Brother said one of the clowns did this while the C.O. was visiting town and the elders had to get up and tell the Congregation "We are sorry but we have no idea what this elder is talking about!"

  Second letter mentions another chain-letter, fake story of three sisters out in service who heard demon voices and prayed and prayed and they finally expelled "The Legion" from a man who claimed to be the Son of Satan. The Urban Legend read by these sisters at Meeting said "Satan told me Jehovah's Witnesses are the most dangerous religion because they have the pure light of Truth. The former demon possessed man is now looking to Pioneer. Here is the problem, none of these stories are real, they were sent by people and fooled invididuals to read these letters at their Kingdom Halls. How embarrassing to read a fake story, only to have the elders take the sisters and brother back to the Hall and say "Please check your sources, you do not know the origin of the "Smurf Story" so why read this on the stage?

  Look's like we are not missing much people, trying to boost moral with fake, unsubstantiated stories wrong, mentally lazy and good material to make us here laugh at how dumb these people are!
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  Brother of the Hawk

  Oh yeah. Happened all the time. That's why we don't believe 99% of those 'experiences' we hear from the platform unless we know the person personally.
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  Splash

  We were once told that the Wiltshire standing stones at Stone Henge could only have been put there by the nephilim.

  It was a strange year that year. We also had a CO tell us that "perhaps the great tribulation HAS already begun!"

  Both of these from the platform.

  Splash
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  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  Reality is entirely too boring. After sitting through mindless meetings listening to Bible legends of miracles and talking to angels and demons, as well as the WT myths of invisible kings, angels accompanying JWs door-to-door, and old dudes in Brooklyn channeling God, only fantastic stories will ever "grow legs" and spread among JWs. Entire yearbooks filled with confirmed stories of JW experiences can't even come close to how an "experience" starts getting spread and exagerated between mouths and ears.
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  cobaltcupcake

  I would love to have been a fly on the wall at that meeting!

  When my born-in ex-husband was a kid he wrote his own ministry school talks and sometimes said some really offbeat things from the platform. Before he went up to give his talks his parents would always tell him, "Tell the truth, Dave."
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  00DAD

  Hahahahahaha!

  The elders make the publishers and even other elders do "fact checking!" But NO ONE calls the WT Writing Department on it!

  Andre is a JW Urban Legend for sure.
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  ÁrbolesdeArabia

  I wonder if "Andre" was the person in the letters, was he the demon possessed man? With access to real-time information there is no need to propagate false stories and humuliate yourself, loose credibility as a speaker and look like a total buffoon.

  Wanting to spice up Meetings is a nobel gesture because they can be so dry and boring, using fake stories with no way to back them up is stupidity. I know most JWs have no Media or Journalism skills so maybe they were just plain dunces who did not fact-check their stories. Future "Fox and Friends" journalist in the making with these skills.

  What percentage do you think of YearBook stories are embellished upon? I have seen the inner workings of Assembly Parts at the Circuit level, not all the parts are what actually took place in the Field Service or Telephone Witnessing. The Circuit "One Day" have problems too, I know of different stories told to the audience that never were close to the actual experience. Dishonesty is rampant when the Sheep are afraid to question their self-appointed Masters. Jesus Christ allowed questions and answered them with authority, they do not follow in his manner and would disfellowship Jesus Christ if he came back.
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  snare&racket

  Isn't everything they read a spoof story?........ Or are we letting talking donkeys, super strength long haired men and cliff hopping piggies go ?
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  snare&racket

  Arbo...Arabia : I did a district item once and was told what to say, they exaggerated my account and changed it into a very cartoonish version of the event.
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  St George of England

  We had a visiting Public Speaker a while ago who said "the Governing Body are in direct contact with Jehovah". Nobody batted an eyelid.

  George