Still in with kids

by thinking_ability 40 Replies latest jw friends

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  Roberta804

  Welcome TA.

  It is not your children your staying in for, be honest, it is because of the losses you will suffer. When you are able to cut your personal losses your children will eagerly follow you. Bet your hubby will too. But you took a huge step in just posting here with how you truly feel. The more comfortable you start to feel in your own skin, your glow will be evident to all and you will naturally move toward integerity. Don't rush it.... coming out of a cult is as natural as leaving a burning building once your eyes are awake. Practice all you want with us here on the board with what to say to anyone or with seeing how y ou truly feel in print.
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  pbrow

  hey roberta... excellent way of explaining it. The "glow" of the personal integrity is blinding! Either people see it and are helped by it or they are repulsed and stay away.

  I love seeing people who have young children post on here with questions. Even if they are torn at the moment it is a huge step in the right direction for the freedom of their children!

  pbrow
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  Gayle

  Always give the 'positives' of this life to your children. You have so much more to offer them. 'This' life is wonderful, interesting, fun. Demonstrate your 'unconditional love.' (You would never just cut them off, as JW children learn to fear). All the 'real' things are just a normal lifestyle that good parents show their small children, one day at a time. There are so many positive development programs for them.

  The WT meetings only teach children to 'space out' and how to 'knock' on doors.

  The WTS only presents 'negatives,' a 'take away' of the natural child. Their childhood doesn't last long. Give them their freedom of mind and heart as a loving guiding parent. Children don't need the fear of big "A" to do right.

  I enjoyed the movie, "Not Without my Daughter" (true story) with Sally Fields. Of course, much more dramatic, but nonetheless, the mother saw a horrible religion being imposed on her daughter. She realized she could risk her life, but she was determined in discretionary ways to get herself and her daughter free.

  Though your husband is "inactive," be careful, as often, some will reactivate, if they feel threatened. Many are 'stuck' there anyway.

  Many best wishes to you and your family and may your 'flight' be not too bumpy!
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  flipper

  THINKING aBILITY- Welcome to the board ! Nice to have you here. You'll get a lot of good advice here. We are here as a support to you. Hang in there
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  cobaltcupcake

  Welcome Thinking Ability and Deus!
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  dissonance_resolved

  Hi Still in- I'm just like you but several years ahead. My husband has never done much, we're not too regular at meetings, no family study, but my kids are still traumatized from what they have grasped about Armageddon from the meetings and I'm wracked with guilt that they haven't had a normal childhood. But I didn't wake up til recently, so just have to make the best of my circumstances. I've been going back and forth too about what to do because I don't want to be separated from my family. I haven't figured out how to have it both ways, though. It's a real roller coaster of being depressed and sad about the thought of losing my family to having hope and exhilaration that somehow, someday, this will all be in the past and my kids won't ever have to be in the same position.
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  Gojira_101

  Welcome Thinking and Deus. I love the fact we are getting so many newbies!

  Thinking, I really do feel for you because you are stuck between a rock and a hard place. I know your kids are still young but don't think that JW indoctrination can't start now or at a very young age. I was a born in 3rd generation also, and for me as a young child, I was scared to death of those pictures in the Revelation book, and even as a small kid I had terrible dreams about Armageddon and me dying because I wasn't one of the chosen ones to survive. Even now that I have become inactive and know TTATT (The truth about the truth) and I'm almost 30, There are times when I start having panic attacks and straight up dread and fear of Armageddon. It will be very hard to combat these kids with your kids because they are exposed to it even right now, and it will affect them. Plus your family will be indoctrination them anytime they are around your kids.

  You might want to try talking to your husband to feel him out, because my husband I thought still believed in WT whole heartily, but come to find out he had been having doubts for years and it really didn't take much to show him TTATT, and he woke up. Since we had been married, we weren't really that regular in our meeting attendance and we never went in service and I think because of that, not having the constant indoctrination, helped both of us to awaken and learn TTATT.

  I still have family who are very active JW and even when they found out I was fading and no longer going to meetings and service, they are shunning me like I was DA'd or Df'd, I had to cut all ties to all of them (other family and friends) just to save my family (My parents left about the same time as my husband and I) and myself because I could no longer stomach the lies WT fed me. It hurts, yes but remember what Jesus said, he came to set the world on fire and he would cause fathers to turn on son's and mothers against daughters, I left WT because I realized they are not following Jesus anymore, and for my own salvation I have to be a follow of Christ, and my family won't even listen to me to when I try to help bring them to Christ, now I know what Jesus meant about separating families, THIS is what he was talking about. I'm okay with it now, but it's still hard because I lost my grandma who was very important to me, and she is follow WT and not Jesus.

  Hang in there and don't lose faith in God or his Son. Pray to them for guidance and they will help you.

  G
• 

  Cagefighter

  I can't think of anything that would motivate me more to leave the cult and not worry about the "consequences" than the thought of protecting my children. This should be a no brainer.
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  jgnat

  We treat our children as sponges but they are so much more than that. Just like us, they learn from experience testing the boundaries, and story telling. They can tolerate some quirky neighbours and relatives. It gives them a wider sense of the world anyways. At this age they take their cue from you. When they become teens, they will take their cue from their friends. In their twenties, they begin swimming on their own (if the WTS does not interfere).

  Here's a great book: Teach Your Child How To Think.
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  LisaRose

  Throw away or lock up the bible story book, and hide the other literature. The bible is OK. If your family is the type to ask nosy questions, just tell them you study the bible with them, and do so, but don't give them any JW dogma along with it. Answer any question they have from a non JW viewpoint. As you read, think of alternative explanations for the scriptures commonly used to justify JW beliefs.

  If they ask or talk about Armageddon, say "Do you think a God of love would murder innocent children, or adults that happened to be born in the wrong country?" Read up on cult mind control so you can be aware of it if they express any of the dubbie thought patterns. Explain to them about circular logic so they can spot it when they hear it from the Kingdom Hall. Teach them to value themselves and their own thoughts, feeling and values so they won't be vulnerable to hand their life over to something that promises salvation in exchange for giving up their soul.

  Teach them that just because someone thinks they speak for God, it doesn't make it true. Tell them that you believe in science and evolution. As they get older, tell them about the many lies and wrong predictions of the Watchtower. Show them how they predicted the end in 1897, 1914, 1925 and 1975. Tell them the story of the boy who cried wolf and ask them if they think they should believe in an organization that has a 100% failure rate on predictions.