Shocking Email from a Dear Friend who is No Longer a JW (page 2)

Jwfacts has a wonderful page on blood transfusions. I would share some of the info with your friend so she will know she did nothing wrong. It will be a huge relief to her, I 'm sure. She may live in constant fear of dying and not getting a resurrection or dying at Armageddon.

Balaamsass

Tell her you love her, and to call you anytime.

troubled mind

Please reach out to her !

rubadubdub

Thanks for all of your quick replies! Yes, I have sent her a very warm and reassuring email including my phone number and my wish to speak with her as soon as possible. Perhaps she will call tomorrow.

This woman was a highly educated and successful business woman before she retired. I don't know how she was lured into a bible study origninally, but I sat in on her study as a "chaperone" as she studied with an "annointed" brother. It was always a very deep study, but could be so odd at other times. One day this brother who reminded me of Yoda was convinced that the crows were attacking his mobile home to disrupt the bible study, and they were doing this at Satan's bidding! Lol!

Anyway, thanks whathappened for the tip to check out jwfacts.org for info on the blood doctrine. That was my go-to website when I first exited The Lie. I am certain we will have a lot to talk about. She is being shunned, and the final straw for me was my unwillingness to shun my own son. I'm looking forward to a wonderful heart to heart chat and getting reacquainted. I am still in a state of disbelief! I have been so lonely and struggling to hang on to my one friend left in the bOrg (Declined Memorial Invitation, Because I Don't Want to be a Hypocrite Thread). And now I will have P back in my life!

I will keep you posted!

Whew! Edited just in time to correct a Freudian slip. Lol!

talesin

You could reply without telling her your present status, and just tell her that it doesn't matter.

Besides I'm not sure whether it is alright for you to read it or not.

She sounds like a loving person, who could really use your support right now, but still concerned about how it would affect you.

xo

tal

mamochan13

So nice that your friend has reached out to you - perhaps she had a sense that you were the right one, the person who would be open to hear what she had to say.

etna

Please contact her and keep in contact with her. Hope she is well.

Etna

laverite

You are in such a great position to provide comfort and support. What a wonderful blessing.

Larsinger58

In special circumstances like these, just do the right thing. If someone were drowning, you'd reach out to save them, disfellowshipped or not. I think this qualifies.

I'll share this briefly with you. It depends on the witness. Everybody doesn't follow strictly nor know strictly what the WTS requires, even though they are emphasizing a complete cutting off of anyone disfellowshipped.

In my situation, I moved from Hawaii, left my good job, etc. to come and take care of my elderly parents. Both my mom and dad are in the truth, 86 and 87 respectively. Now they are both in the nursing home. But for a long while I was living with them in the house. The hypocrisy of cutting off family members was always there. You know, you avoid your children or parents if they are disfellowshipped, UNTIL they need to be taken care of, and then suddenly they expect you to show up and start up a loving relationship with them.

Anyway, what I wanted to say was that witnesses would come by the home and I would scurry into my room to avoid them. But pretty soon that became ridiculous. After a while, after a few awkward avoidances, since I had to open the door, etc. some of them at least said hello and left it at that. But others totally treated me as if I wasn't disfellowshipped or disassociated. It went past the usual hello and thank-you for bringing food or something, which I always did. They would be kind and ask how I was. So right now some even speak to me at the meetings and others ask about my parents. They try to keep it formal, but they don't have the "emotion" of hating me like some treat disfellowshipped people.

Plus you should know the WTS has flip-flopped on how to treat a disfeloowshipped person. Only someone in the truth a long time would know this. At first, if someone got disfellowshipped, you were allowed to great them, say "hello" and end it at that. Also, you were allowed to speak to relatives. But apparently in some small town where someone disfellowshipped was related to practically everybody in the congregation, that wasn't good enough for them, so they came up with these strict rules about avoiding any contact whatsoever. It's so cruel and hateful.

Anyway, I just wanted to say, there's a difference in hating the religion, the false teachings vs. hating the people. Most witnesses want to reach out, they want to show love and encourage, but they want to follow the rules as well. But I guess in my case, since they are in MY house and have to interact with me while visiting my parents, they just forego that rule of not speaking and they speak and show kindness.

So in no way feel all that unique. When the situation is complicated, many witnesses can't see the point of those rules or don't know them. Of course, I don't help either, because I speak to them and say hello. I don't do what I'm supposed to do, which is cowl and hold my head down and say: "Oh, I'm so sorry, but I'm disfellowshipped!" I figure it is the congregation's job to let THEM know I'm disfellowshipped.

Now it would be different if they were the "true religion" and had the way to life, instead of just the opposite. It is they who are the apostate "evil slave" now!

We all know this is wrong! Telling children to avoid their parents or visa versa if disfellowshipped, then when they get old and sick and need you, then you're expected to take care of them!!! Suddenly they can talk to you and show love? Oh, please.

At any rate, the WTS is not the mediator. We all must do what is right in our own conscience before God.

But there's another side to this as well. One must be discreet. I used to send out "apostate" material all the time. I made the mistake once of sending some to a close friend in the congregation and putting my parent's address on the letter. This was the time they were building a new Kingdom Hall in the area. When my father went to the site, they rejected him and told him to leave. They thought in some way they were connected with the apostate material, when they weren't. My father was devastated. So I'm between a rock and a hard place sometimes, because I'm living with and taking care of my parents, and I can't be the local APOSTATE #1 in the area that I want to be - it would literally kill them.

MORE: Finally, some of my relatives in the truth have gotten around the avoiding to talk to me issue by establishing a "business" relationship. In some small towns, some JW business owners have to hire those who are disfellowshipped because it affects their livelihood. In one case, the husband was disfellowshipped, but the wife and chidlren were still active. If he were discharged because he got disfellowshipped, then the family still in the truth would suffer. So that is a permissible interaction. So if you were in a business relationship with someone disfellowshipped, then conversing with them would be permissible, technically. So I'm just saying... You can hire someone to sell some greeting cards for you, can't you? That's a business relationship.

I hope all works out for everyone involved. This kind of thing makes me really feel badly.

P.S. I love that someone said the borg is "The Lie" instead of "the truth"! Cute.

Shocking Email from a Dear Friend who is No Longer a JW

poppers

whathappened