Good day everyone….it’s been approximately one year since I’ve been on JWN, not as active as I want to, I guess I will be as time goes on.
It’s been an interesting year since been fully awaken about the lies behind the BORG…thanks to this site, along with the many well put together blogs from Cedars, Marvin, JWFACTS, Randy & others, life has been much better for me. I no longer have to worry about being put to death at Armageddon or worry about those who were critical of me going to College or choosing a good job that allows me to travel.
Through my company, I’ve also done some voluntary activities to help those who are less fortunate. This is something that is very close to my heart! It really saddens me that the WTBS has the resources to be more helpful in the various communities across the earth, but refuse to.
I can’t thank ya’ll enough for your advice, encouragement & well wishes!
As you all know, my fade has been going very well…of course, over the past year, I’ve attended the Khall just a couple times when my parents come to stay over for the weekend or when I go back to my home congregation to visit “home”. Additionally, no FS for me, except for once or twice when I visited my dad for a couple days.
All was going well until a couple weeks ago, when I ran into a CO who I remember from when I was much younger…he served in my parents circuit about 12 years ago. Back then, I had my doubts, but went with the flow….to cut a long story short, this CO had an interest in me, he thought I’d become the next CO or move on to become a bethelite. He has always maintained contact with my parents and always asked for me. My parents told him which state I was in and which congregation I should be with, it just so happens that the city where I’m at now, hosted him and he was expecting to see me at the meetings and field service!!! When I ran into him, he asked if my publisher card is at the local congregation where I’m currently working, to which I responded “NO” and told him I want it to stay in my parents’ congregation. He’s also aware of the fact that I stepped down as an MS a few months ago.
He asked the local elders to “follow up” on me…I guess in hopes of me becoming an MS again. Under compulsion by my parents, I attended one of the meetings on a Sunday…of course…the love bombing and one of the elders said to me that he wants us to talk. This was the first time I’m seeing the new 16 page magazines… I went to the literature counter, took up a couple of them & realized how poor the quality is. The public talk almost made me puke…It was about how the GB loves the congregation, dis-fellowshipping is a loving provision from Jehovah and a bunch of other garbage!
Apparently, the CO told them that I once served as an MS. I told the elder that I won’t be here much longer and that my company is sending me to a country overseas. I also told the CO the same thing and that I actually love my job!
My company is planning to send me to one of their offices in another country in April, unfortunately, acquiring a work permit to go to this specific country is harder than expected, so there may be some delays.
I know that a “fade” must come to an end eventually, but how do you make that transition from fading to complete non-association with the cult, especially when you have family? I know I have to be honest with myself eventually, but my mum suffered severe depression some time ago, and from a young age told me that if I left the “truth”, she’d become very depressed. Also, my dad is one who worries quite easily…I also don’t want to be blamed for my parents having any mental/medical problems…I’m between a rock & a hard place!!!
Thanks for listening, just need some advice!
Peace
Kool Jo