Good Signs from my wife? maybe? She wants to improve her thinking ability!

by thecrushed 18 Replies latest jw friends

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  thecrushed

  So after the memorial hell http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/249700/1/Memorial-Hell my wife totally missed the special talk and I only just realized from JWN that she has. In fact last sunday I took her out to a park and we had nice time in the fresh air enjoying nature. Also she has taken up improving her congnitive skills on luminosity and today said she might actaully go and study some algebra on Khan Academy which I had suggested instead of spending money on luminosity.

  This is the same behavior I engaged in right before I fully woke up to TTATT. I believe this very intense excersizing of the mind is a good window of opportunity to plant some subtle critical thinking into her. Any suggestions or theories on this? Maybe I can get her to study Logic and Critical thinking courses with me now and then her own mind will start to see the bullshit written in the pages of the WT like I did.

  For some reason she has become obsessed with improving her IQ and feels like she has gotten dumb over the years. I felt the same before I woke up and just felt like my mind was turning to mush. I seriously see some kind of subconcience connection here.

  I ran into so many questions in my life that screamed to be answered that JW's only had one sentence platitude answers to. Over and over I heard "wait on Jehovah" Don't run ahead of the Org" and We will have to wait till the New system to find out when our minds are perfect" After a while the inquisitive mind either shuts down or drives you crazy till you get some satisfiying logical answers. Mine drove me nuts and lead me to search for science and reason. I see the beginnings of this in my dear wife but I must tred carefully. Again please dialog on this. Can't Leave, Billy the Exbethalite, Capt. Obvious, Cofty??

  Maybe its wishful thinking I don't know this might be my moment to start a dialog and involve her in intellectual discussions. I just don't know how much she can take or how to do this in the right way. I'm an info dumper and I can't just lay down evolutionary theory to her.
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  sd-7

  Well, I'm probably not the one you want to hear from on this, what with the paranoia and all, but I'd say, just encourage her to pursue whatever intellectual pursuit comes to mind. That could be the beginning of something, or it could be wishful thinking on your part. I tend to go with wishful thinking when it comes to the notion of one's spouse waking up. One does not simply wake up to TTATT.

  --sd-7
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  LostGeneration

  Any chance she would go back to school? Even community college to start?

  Get a few classes going there and they teach you *how* to think not *what* to think
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  thecrushed

  sd-7 just because I couldn't think of your name doesn't mean I don't wanna hear from you. :) I don't know what you mean about the paranoia?? Anyway you said one doesn't just wake up to TTATT but I DID! ??? I should have said I want to hear from my fellow Athiest, Agnostic, Humanist, Intellectual and non religious perspectives. I can't argue doctrine with her anyway because that will just dig her hills into the JW theology.

  I need suggestions or experiences of what has worked for others when it comes to critical thinking skills. Hopefully I can keep this neutral and over time bring in more touchy subjects over time.
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  thecrushed

  Lost GEnwierd thing is she has a college degree already but it has been a long time for her. We are both really busy so mostly I'm thinking internet free courses and stuff. I'm the one with no degree LOL but with the critical thinking skills and Independant mind.
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  sd-7

  I don't know what you mean about the paranoia?? Anyway you said one doesn't just wake up to TTATT but I DID! ???

  I was referring to my own paranoia, about the notion of anyone's spouse waking up. I tend to be extremely skeptical because I got ratted out by my wife, who at first pretended to believe me, then sold me up the river at the first opportunity. And then made sure she got a receipt. I meant to say I'm a bit biased in the wrong direction in this case.

  I was just doing the Boromir meme thing, but I didn't feel like Googling Boromir and including a meme for it. But you're right, people do simply wake up to TTATT. I was just feeling a bit like my brand of humor, that's all. It's mainly that one does not simply walk into Mordor, which, come to think of it, apparently Boromir was wrong about that, too!

  --sd-7
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  Retrovirus

  Perhaps print out a list of logical fallacies? Ask her to help you spot them in advertisements, newspapers etc. Surely in time she won't be able to miss the fallacies she hears in meetings and sees in the wt publications? She sounds like a smart person.
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  thecrushed

  Retrovirus! that is a great idea! She is a smart person even though she doesn't think so. She has a huge self esteem issue.
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  Roberta804

  Now I do not know your wife like you do, but please do not "dump" information. With all that she is currently going though in her mind, she can very easily get overwhelmed, then frighten and entrench herself even more into the JWs. Listen to her very carefully, LISTEN. Only reflect back what she has already told you, let her know you have heard her. Do you know what a reflection is? Let me teach you. It is simple and the best tool in my box as a psychotherapist.

  Lets say she is discussing the fact that she missed the special meeting. Listen for her tone. Is she upset that she missed it? Perhaps feels guilty? Or perhaps her tone tells you she did give a damn about missing it and enjoyed sleeping in. Put a name to how you perceive her FEELING and give it a name. Culty minds often forget what they are feeling and need their feelings named.

  "It seems you may feel guilty about missing the special meeting"; "I'm glad that missing the special meeting did not upset you"

  With reflection what you are actually doing is opening the windows. Your giving her permission by opportunity to talk, and talk freely. The more you can get her to talk about how SHE feels the better.

  How this helps
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  crmsicl

  I remember something from Combatting Cult Mind Control by Steve Hassan. He said one way to help others break out of the cognitive disonance was to engage the person to talk about there dreams, hopes, wishes or good times that they had before joining the cult. If your wife was born in you could get her to reflect on her ambitions or things in her life that were liberating for her.

  In other words you have to get her off the wheel as you did that Sunday of the not so Special Talk. Baby steps.