BB, thanks for posting this info. Most likely than not, someone either knows someone or will know someone who is sick or with a terminal illness.
People, eventhough well meaning, often say the wrong things to a person who is ill. They are uncomfortable and sometimes frightened, especially when it is a terminal illness. And rather than think of how the ill person feels, they may be wrapped up in sorting out their own issues.
My mom was terminally ill and she desired to talk to her 'friends', but they bombarded her with unending questions and insensitive suggestions instead of listening.
Some friends and a family member wanted to unburden themselves to her so that they could feel better, not thinking how reliving the past was hurtful and distressing to her.
She became so distressed that she didn't want to have contact with them any longer. And I completely understood. Some were very selfish.
Eventually, I recognized it for what it was; it was about their own mortality! Everyone is scared of the unknown that may await them too.
If your family member or friend is ill, please think about their needs.
Love them.
Listen to them.
Be their friend.
Don't burden them with your issues over their illness.
Let them know what they mean to you.
Tell them how they have enriched your life.
Why you are proud you of them.
Reminisce over happy memories.
Watch the tone of your voice; don't speak to them as if they are a baby.
Touch them. Don't be afraid to touch them.
At the end of the day, no one wants to be a burden to anyone. If you can help someone, it is better that you do not wait for the ill person to call you, but for you to be pro-active and be specific with what, how and when you can assist them.
